영작교정
목록
완료

Physical Education

I believe that students need physical education classes because students need to have different experience than just seating more than ten hours in school snd learning boring things.On the other hand, some people can say that schools are for studying not exercising. However, when we keep studying without any exercising our brain can be explored by all the boring informations and not be able to learn new things. From this reason I think we need P.E class and P.E class is a most important class and it shouldn’t be missed.

I believe that students need physical education classes because students need to have different experience than just seating more than ten hours in school snd learning boring things.On the other hand, some people can say that schools are for studying not exercising. However, when we keep studying without any exercising our brain can be explored by all the boring informations and not be able to learn new things. From this reason I think we need P.E class and P.E class is a most important class and it shouldn’t be missed.

 

Corrected Argument:
 
I believe that students need physical education classes because they should have different experiences than just sitting for more than ten hours in school, learning boring things. On the other hand, some people may argue that schools are for studying, not exercising. However, when we study without exercising, our brains can become overwhelmed with all the boring information, making it harder to learn new things. For this reason, I think P.E. is one of the most important classes and should never be missed.
 
___________________
 
Explanation of Corrections:
 
"seating" → "sitting": "Seating" refers to the act of providing seats, while "sitting" refers to the act of being seated.
 
"more than ten hours in school" → "sitting for more than ten hours in school": Added "sitting for" to make the sentence clearer.
 
"some people can say" → "some people may argue": "May argue" sounds more formal and appropriate in this context.
 
"brain can be explored by all the boring informations" → "our brains can become overwhelmed with all the boring information": "Explored" doesn’t fit here; "overwhelmed" better conveys the idea of being mentally burdened. Also, "informations" is incorrect; "information" is uncountable.
 
"P.E class is a most important class" → "P.E. is one of the most important classes": Rephrased for clarity and accuracy.
 

수강정보
필리핀 화상영어 주 3회 25분 4주
튜터
Edleth
교재
Debate Pro Junior 1
[주니어] 토론·토의
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
2139
완료
[47번째 영작 첨삭] Why zoos are harmful
Min
Jenny/(1730~)
2021.06.24
2138
완료
[46번째 영작 첨삭] Why school uniforms are not good
Min
Jenny/(1730~)
2021.06.24
2137
완료
[20번째 영작 첨삭] Zoos are harmful
Eric
-
2021.06.24
2136
완료
[26번째 영작 첨삭] Zoos Are Harmful
Eric
-
2021.06.24
2135
완료
[33번째 영작 첨삭] Zoos are harmful
Rooney
-
2021.06.24
2134
완료
[36번째 영작 첨삭] Is physical education class necessary?
Lucas
Melissa
2021.06.24
2133
완료
[35번째 영작 첨삭] Grading their teacher
Lucas
Melissa
2021.06.23
2132
완료
[34번째 영작 첨삭] Zoo is good place to animals?
Lucas
Melissa
2021.06.22
2131
완료
[33번째 영작 첨삭] Should children make decision themselves?
Lucas
Melissa
2021.06.21
2130
완료
[32번째 영작 첨삭] Demian
Lucas
Melissa
2021.06.20
2129
완료
[7번째 영작 첨삭] Tell me about the things you do before and after going on a trip. Describe what you normally do.
Teddy
-
2021.06.20
2128
완료
[19번째 영작 첨삭] My last Friday
Carol
Charm
2021.06.20
2127
완료
[31번째 영작 첨삭] My will(2)
Lucas
Melissa
2021.06.20
2126
완료
[30번째 영작 첨삭] My will(1)
Lucas
Melissa
2021.06.20
2125
완료
[29번째 영작 첨삭] Will human nature last if the world change as Apocalypes?
Lucas
Melissa
2021.06.20
2124
완료
[28번째 영작 첨삭] Should bike go on the sidewalk?
Lucas
Melissa
2021.06.20
2123
완료
[27번째 영작 첨삭] Household chores
Lucas
Melissa
2021.06.19
2122
완료
[6번째 영작 첨삭] Give me a detailed description of one of the problems that has happened in your house. What happene
Teddy
-
2021.06.19
2121
완료
[26번째 영작 첨삭] About garage sale
Hangyeol Lee (Christian)
Mary
2021.06.18
2120
완료
[19번째 영작 첨삭] School uniforms are not good
Eric
-
2021.06.17

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침