영작교정
목록
완료

Diary

We lived in Busan when my son was 5 to 7 ages. We had neighborhood who hang out with. They came to incheon due to attention their family occasions. We talked before we knew that her Cousin's home is next to apartment from my home. We surprised. But they came to here just family 's gathering. So we almost didn't meet each and they didn't have time to meet us. In addition Incheon is so far between each aras when we move. we had close located. even though in a short time we had a good time.

We lived in Busan when my son was 5 to 7 ages. We had neighborhood who hang out with. They came to incheon due to attention their family occasions. We talked before we knew that her Cousin's home is next to apartment from my home. We surprised. But they came to here just family 's gathering. So we almost didn't meet each and they didn't have time to meet us. In addition Incheon is so far between each aras when we move. we had close located. even though in a short time we had a good time.

==================================================================================================================================

HERE ARE THE CORRECTIONS:

  1. "We lived in Busan when my son was 5 to 7 ages."
    Correction: "We lived in Busan when my son was between the ages of 5 and 7."
    Explanation: Use "between the ages of" to express a range of ages. "Ages" needs to be plural here, and the article "the" is necessary for natural phrasing.

  2. "We had neighborhood who hang out with."
    Correction: "We had neighbors to hang out with."
    Explanation: "Neighborhood" refers to an area or community. Since you mean people, the correct word is "neighbors." "To hang out with" fits better than "who hang out with."

  3. "They came to incheon due to attention their family occasions."
    Correction: "They came to Incheon to attend family events."
    Explanation: "Attention" is the wrong word here; "attend" fits the context better. Proper nouns like "Incheon" need capitalization, and "events" is more suitable than "occasions."

  4. "We talked before we knew that her Cousin's home is next to apartment from my home."
    Correction: "We talked and found out that her cousin's home is in the apartment next to mine."
    Explanation: "Before we knew" is unclear, so "talked and found out" clarifies the sequence. "Cousin" does not need capitalization, and "in the apartment next to mine" sounds more natural.

  5. "We surprised."
    Correction: "We were surprised."
    Explanation: Use "were" to form the correct past tense passive construction.

  6. "But they came to here just family 's gathering."
    Correction: "But they only came here for a family gathering."
    Explanation: "Only" fits better in this context, and "a family gathering" is the correct phrase. Avoid unnecessary spaces in possessive forms.

  7. "So we almost didn't meet each and they didn't have time to meet us."
    Correction: "So we almost didn’t meet, and they didn’t have time to meet us."
    Explanation: The conjunctions need proper punctuation. "Each" alone is incorrect—just "us" is sufficient.

  8. "In addition Incheon is so far between each aras when we move."
    Correction: "In addition, Incheon is very spread out, making it difficult to get around."
    Explanation: "Incheon" should be followed by a comma. "Far between" isn't appropriate for locations; "spread out" makes more sense.

  9. "We had close located."
    Correction: "We lived close to each other."
    Explanation: "Close located" is unnatural. "Lived close to each other" fits the context better.

  10. "Even though in a short time we had a good time."
    Correction: "Even though it was brief, we had a good time."
    Explanation: The sentence is more natural with "it was brief" rather than "in a short time."


Final Corrected Text:

We lived in Busan when my son was between the ages of 5 and 7. We had neighbors to hang out with. They came to Incheon to attend family events. We talked and found out that her cousin's home is in the apartment next to mine. We were surprised! But they only came here for a family gathering, so we almost didn’t meet, and they didn’t have time to meet us. In addition, Incheon is very spread out, making it difficult to get around. We lived close to each other back then. Even though it was brief, we had a good time.


수강정보
필리핀 전화영어 주 2회 10분 4주
튜터
Anna
교재
New+ Get Up to Speed Situational 2
[시니어] 정규
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
2079
완료
[18번째 영작 첨삭] Why reading books is better
Eric
-
2021.06.03
2078
완료
[22번째 영작 첨삭] My diary 2
Zoe
Lanie^~(21:30X)
2021.06.03
2077
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] hi
John
-
2021.06.02
2076
완료
[18번째 영작 첨삭] My last weekend
Carol
Charm
2021.06.02
2075
완료
[16번째 영작 첨삭] Washing machine
Amy
-
2021.06.02
2074
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Intruction myself
Jeong nam seok
Kath"~☎
2021.06.01
2073
완료
[11번째 영작 첨삭] Your principal will invite a famous person to talk to the students at your school.
Leo
-
2021.05.31
2072
완료
[3번째 영작 첨삭] My third English Essay "the change of my life"
J
-
2021.05.31
2071
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] My second English essay " Move out"
J
-
2021.05.31
2070
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] My first english essay "Interesting"
J
-
2021.05.31
2069
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] hi
John
-
2021.05.31
2068
완료
[21번째 영작 첨삭] My diary 1
Zoe
Lanie^~(21:30X)
2021.05.31
2067
완료
[10번째 영작 첨삭] Think about all the things you can do with a cell phone or smartphone.
Leo
-
2021.05.29
2066
완료
[21번째 영작 첨삭] covid
Jennypark
Therese"☎
2021.05.29
2065
완료
[20번째 영작 첨삭] no food
Jennypark
Therese"☎
2021.05.29
2064
완료
[19번째 영작 첨삭] Senteritiis
Jennypark
Therese"☎
2021.05.29
2063
완료
[18번째 영작 첨삭] vaccine
Jennypark
Therese"☎
2021.05.29
2062
완료
[30번째 영작 첨삭] which one will you choose? Power to read minds or Power to see the future?
Yumin
-
2021.05.28
2061
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] 052721_IELTS Test Task 1
Billie
Joel
2021.05.27
2060
완료
[15번째 영작 첨삭] Novice driver
Amy
-
2021.05.27

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침