My mom and I looked up a unique café and went there because they have a retriever. His name is Hotteok, which means a griddlecake with sugar filling in Korean. We already knew he was two, but he was big in reality. So we asked them about how old he is. They said, "He is two and still a baby." He loved their visitors. He was a well-behaved dog, but he was also a curious boy. Hotteok seemed to be starting to get bored and finding something. He snooped around guests' belongings, and he took napkins from my mom's bag and knitting yarn on the other table. In the end, he had to go into a cage, and his owner apologized to us. Raising a large dog still young seems difficult.
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Corrections and Explanations
Original
Corrected Sentence
Explanation
because they have a retriever
because they had a retriever
The story is in the past, so we use had, not have.
but he was big in reality
but he was bigger than we expected
We say “bigger than we expected” to sound more natural in English.
So we asked them about how old he is
So we asked them how old he was
When we talk about something someone said in the past, we change is → was.
He loved their visitors
He loved the visitors
We use the because we mean the visitors in that café.
Hotteok seemed to be starting to get bored and finding something
Hotteok seemed to be getting bored and looking for something to do
“Finding something” sounds strange — “looking for something to do” sounds natural.
he took napkins from my mom's bag and knitting yarn on the other table
he took napkins from my mom’s bag and some knitting yarn from another table
We add some and from another table to make the sentence clear.
Raising a large dog still young seems difficult
Raising a large dog that is still young seems difficult
We add that is to make a full and clear sentence.
| Original | Corrected Sentence | Explanation |
|---|---|---|
| because they have a retriever | because they had a retriever | The story is in the past, so we use had, not have. |
| but he was big in reality | but he was bigger than we expected | We say “bigger than we expected” to sound more natural in English. |
| So we asked them about how old he is | So we asked them how old he was | When we talk about something someone said in the past, we change is → was. |
| He loved their visitors | He loved the visitors | We use the because we mean the visitors in that café. |
| Hotteok seemed to be starting to get bored and finding something | Hotteok seemed to be getting bored and looking for something to do | “Finding something” sounds strange — “looking for something to do” sounds natural. |
| he took napkins from my mom's bag and knitting yarn on the other table | he took napkins from my mom’s bag and some knitting yarn from another table | We add some and from another table to make the sentence clear. |
| Raising a large dog still young seems difficult | Raising a large dog that is still young seems difficult | We add that is to make a full and clear sentence. |
Final Edited Text
My mom and I looked up a unique café and went there because they had a retriever. His name is Hotteok, which means a griddlecake with sugar filling in Korean. We already knew he was two, but he was bigger than we expected. So we asked them how old he was, and they said, “He is two and still a baby.” He loved the visitors. He was a well-behaved dog, but he was also a curious boy. Hotteok seemed to be getting bored and looking for something to do. He snooped around guests’ belongings and took napkins from my mom’s bag and some knitting yarn from another table. In the end, he had to go into a cage, and his owner apologized to us. Raising a large dog that is still young seems difficult.
My mom and I looked up a unique café and went there because they had a retriever. His name is Hotteok, which means a griddlecake with sugar filling in Korean. We already knew he was two, but he was bigger than we expected. So we asked them how old he was, and they said, “He is two and still a baby.” He loved the visitors. He was a well-behaved dog, but he was also a curious boy. Hotteok seemed to be getting bored and looking for something to do. He snooped around guests’ belongings and took napkins from my mom’s bag and some knitting yarn from another table. In the end, he had to go into a cage, and his owner apologized to us. Raising a large dog that is still young seems difficult.
Message to the Student
You did a great job, Min! Your story is interesting, clear, and fun to read. Just remember to use past tense words (like had and was) when talking about things that already happened. Keep writing stories like this - you’re improving very well!
You did a great job, Min! Your story is interesting, clear, and fun to read. Just remember to use past tense words (like had and was) when talking about things that already happened. Keep writing stories like this - you’re improving very well!
