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10/14

I visited my grandparents during the Chuseok holidays. I helped with waiting at the table and lifting it to the living room. I enjoyed playing board games with my maternal relative. First my parents and I won, but the next, we never did - it was too fun, though. The next day, we went to see my paternal grandmother. She was awkward around me because my voice had deepened, and I was taller than her. We went to the public stadium. After walking around the huge track five times, I became overheated. So I took off my windbreaker. We stayed at her house for two nights and three days. It was only a pity that the weather was gloomy throughout the holidays.

I visited my grandparents during the Chuseok holidays. I helped with waiting at the table and lifting it to the living room. I enjoyed playing board games with my maternal relative. First my parents and I won, but the next, we never did - it was too fun, though. The next day, we went to see my paternal grandmother. She was awkward around me because my voice had deepened, and I was taller than her. We went to the public stadium. After walking around the huge track five times, I became overheated. So I took off my windbreaker. We stayed at her house for two nights and three days. It was only a pity that the weather was gloomy throughout the holidays.
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Here are the corrections:

  1. Original: I helped with waiting at the table and lifting it to the living room.
    Corrected: I helped with setting the table and moving it to the living room.

  2. Original: I enjoyed playing board games with my maternal relative.
    Corrected: I enjoyed playing board games with my cousin on my mother's side.

  3. Original: First my parents and I won, but the next, we never did – it was too fun, though.
    Corrected: At first, my parents and I won, but after that, we didn’t win again – it was still a lot of fun, though.

  4. Original: She was awkward around me because my voice had deepened, and I was taller than her.
    Corrected: She felt awkward around me because my voice had deepened and I was taller than her.

  5. Original: It was only a pity that the weather was gloomy throughout the holidays.
    Corrected: The only pity was that the weather was gloomy throughout the holidays.


Explanation of Errors

  1. "Waiting at the table" is incorrect. The correct phrase is "setting the table", which means preparing it for a meal. "Lifting it to the living room" is vague and slightly awkward – "moving it" is more natural.

  2. "Maternal relative" is technically correct, but it's unnatural. Native speakers would typically say "cousin on my mother’s side" (or just “cousin,” if clear).

  3. "The next" is incomplete. It likely means "the next time" or "next round." Also, “we never did” should be revised to “we didn’t win again” for clarity and proper tense use.

  4. "Was awkward" should be "felt awkward", because it's about someone's emotional response. It sounds more natural.

  5. The phrase "It was only a pity" is grammatically fine but slightly awkward. "The only pity was that..." flows better in this context.


Final Revised Text

I visited my grandparents during the Chuseok holidays. I helped with setting the table and moving it to the living room. I enjoyed playing board games with my cousin on my mother’s side. At first, my parents and I won, but after that, we didn’t win again – it was still a lot of fun, though. The next day, we went to see my paternal grandmother. She felt awkward around me because my voice had deepened and I was taller than her. We went to the public stadium. After walking around the huge track five times, I became overheated, so I took off my windbreaker. We stayed at her house for two nights and three days. The only pity was that the weather was gloomy throughout the holidays.

NOTE:

Great work, Min! Your writing clearly shares your Chuseok experience and was easy to follow. With just a few small changes to vocabulary and phrasing, it sounds much more natural. Keep practicing – you're doing really well!

 

 


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