영작교정
목록
완료

Bye.. baby guppies

l love animals. But l don’t like to bring up pets. Because someday, we have to say goodbye.
My parrot l’m raising now was brought by my dad without consulting anyone, so I unwillingly started taking care of it out of responsibility. But now, l love my cute parrot!
Sometimes I feel sad when I think about my parrot dying.
l bring up guppies because of my mom favorite pet. This is ironic situation. My mom only likes to see fish tank. haha

We can see many people like me, who begin taking care of pet s out of responsibility because of someone else. And over time, they grow attached to them.

l’ll try 10 minutes a day to teach my parrot to say hello. haha
See you after the holiday!
Have a good weekend~

l love animals. But l don’t like to bring up pets. Because someday, we have to say goodbye.
My parrot l’m raising now was brought by my dad without consulting anyone, so I unwillingly started taking care of it out of responsibility. But now, l love my cute parrot!
Sometimes I feel sad when I think about my parrot dying.
l bring up guppies because of my mom favorite pet. This is ironic situation. My mom only likes to see fish tank. haha

We can see many people like me, who begin taking care of pet s out of responsibility because of someone else. And over time, they grow attached to them.

l’ll try 10 minutes a day to teach my parrot to say hello. haha
See you after the holiday!
Have a good weekend~

_______

Corrected version:
I love animals, but I don’t like raising pets because someday we have to say goodbye.
My parrot, which I’m raising now, was brought home by my dad without asking anyone, so I unwillingly started taking care of it out of responsibility. But now, I love my cute parrot!
Sometimes I feel sad when I think about my parrot dying.
I raise guppies because they are my mom’s favorite pet. It’s ironic because my mom only likes to look at the fish tank. haha
Many people are like me. They start taking care of pets out of responsibility for someone else, but over time, they grow attached.
I’ll try to spend 10 minutes a day teaching my parrot to say hello. haha
See you after the holiday! Have a good weekend~

Explanations:

 

  • “bring up pets” → “raise pets” (more natural).

  • “was brought by my dad” → “was brought home by my dad” (clearer).

  • “mom favorite pet” → “my mom’s favorite pet” (needs possessive).

  • “ironic situation” → “It’s ironic” (natural phrasing).

________

REPLY:

Hi Hyang, thank you for sharing your story about your pets. I can really feel how much you care for your parrot, even though at first you didn’t plan to raise it. It’s touching that your responsibility turned into love. I understand your feelings about saying goodbye one day, it shows your heart is very kind. Your parrot is lucky to have you. Teaching it to say hello sounds so fun! I hope you and your pets bring each other happiness. Have a wonderful holiday and weekend!

 


수강정보
필리핀 전화영어 주 3회 20분 12주
튜터
Edleth
교재
Speak Now 1 (Senior Course)
[시니어] 정규
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
5479
접수
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Self-introduction
Ryan
-
2023.12.10
5478
완료
[3번째 영작 첨삭] Camping
김주희
Melissa
2023.12.09
5477
완료
[42번째 영작 첨삭] Slush
Oliver
-
2023.12.08
5476
완료
[13번째 영작 첨삭] Happy
doi
Anabelle
2023.12.08
5475
완료
[12번째 영작 첨삭] Happy
doi
Anabelle
2023.12.08
5474
접수
[1번째 영작 첨삭] My story
Jeon Seo-hee
-
2023.12.08
5473
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Why l love soccer!!
Cabin
Bel
2023.12.07
5472
완료
[5번째 영작 첨삭] Horrible Harry(Book Report)
Daniel
Yugeen
2023.12.07
5471
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] I'm sorry.
Son Jiyoung
Henny
2023.12.07
5470
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] My country, Korea
Jenny
Anna
2023.12.07
5469
완료
[75번째 영작 첨삭] Adoption
Rachel
Jenica
2023.12.06
5468
완료
[145번째 영작 첨삭] Art
Aiden
Malou
2023.12.06
5467
접수
[1번째 영작 첨삭] The review of the first class.
emily
-
2023.12.06
5466
완료
[11번째 영작 첨삭] Today`s my life
Jay
Garlie
2023.12.06
5465
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Jumping rope is fun
soyul
Anabelle
2023.12.06
5464
완료
[11번째 영작 첨삭] snow
doi
Anabelle
2023.12.06
5463
완료
[10번째 영작 첨삭] snow
doi
Anabelle
2023.12.06
5462
완료
[9번째 영작 첨삭] snow
doi
Anabelle
2023.12.06
5461
완료
[8번째 영작 첨삭] snow
doi
Anabelle
2023.12.06
5460
완료
[7번째 영작 첨삭] snow
doi
Anabelle
2023.12.06

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침