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8/18

Last Friday, my parents and I went to the mountain stream, which is our go-to place. This place is always popular for all ages in my town. But we were surprised because the terrain has changed too much artificially. The stream was gone, filled with sand, so I couldn't swim at all. Also, the valley restaurant was demolished partially because the law is getting changed and strong. What a shame. We had cup ramen at the restaurant and splashed around. The water was clean and cold as ever.

Last Friday, my parents and I went to the mountain stream, which is our go-to place. This place is always popular for all ages in my town. But we were surprised because the terrain has changed too much artificially. The stream was gone, filled with sand, so I couldn't swim at all. Also, the valley restaurant was demolished partially because the law is getting changed and strong. What a shame. We had cup ramen at the restaurant and splashed around. The water was clean and cold as ever.
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Here are the corrections:


Original:
Last Friday, my parents and I went to the mountain stream, which is our go-to place.
Corrected: Last Friday, my parents and I went to the mountain stream, which is our favorite place to visit.
Why? "Go-to place" is okay in casual speech, but “favorite place to visit” is clearer and more natural in writing.


Original:
This place is always popular for all ages in my town.
Corrected: This place is always popular with people of all ages in my town.
Why? We say "popular with people" not "popular for." Adding “people of all ages” makes the meaning clearer.


Original:
But we were surprised because the terrain has changed too much artificially.
Corrected: But we were surprised because the terrain had changed too much due to human construction.
Why? Use “had changed” to match past tense. “Artificially” sounds unnatural here — better to say “due to human construction” or “because of man-made changes.”


Original:
The stream was gone, filled with sand, so I couldn't swim at all.
Corrected: The stream was gone and filled with sand, so I couldn’t swim at all.
Why? Just added “and” for better flow and grammar.


Original:
Also, the valley restaurant was demolished partially because the law is getting changed and strong.
Corrected: Also, the valley restaurant was partly demolished because the law has become stricter.
Why? “Partly demolished” is the correct phrase. "The law is getting changed and strong" is incorrect — better to say “the law has become stricter.”


Original:
What a shame.
Corrected:What a shame. (No changes needed!)
Why? This is a natural expression and it's used correctly here.


Original:
We had cup ramen at the restaurant and splashed around.
Corrected: We had cup ramen near the restaurant and splashed around.
Why? If the restaurant was partly demolished, it's more likely you ate nearby, not inside.


Original:
The water was clean and cold as ever.
Corrected:The water was clean and cold as ever. (No changes needed!)
Why? This sentence is great—clear and natural.


Final Edited Version:

Last Friday, my parents and I went to the mountain stream, which is our favorite place to visit. This place is always popular with people of all ages in my town. But we were surprised because the terrain had changed too much due to human construction. The stream was gone and filled with sand, so I couldn’t swim at all. Also, the valley restaurant was partly demolished because the law has become stricter. What a shame. We had cup ramen near the restaurant and splashed around. The water was clean and cold as ever.


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