There we watched lots of performances and museum. At performance we see lot of colleger
they show us fantastic kicks like spining 1080 before kicking and kicking after dumbling
they even kick target with blindfold.
At museum we saw information about taekwondo.
Next we ride monorail and go to observation deck.
we saw with binocular there is garden and Korean traditional house
After sawing lot of performance I want to be like them so I will practice
teakwondo more and be great at them.
Title: My Trip to Taekwondowon (I think this is better)
I met my mom and my friend, and we went to Taekwondowon.
There, we watched many performances and visited the museum.
At the performance, we saw a lot of college students.
They showed us amazing kicks, like spinning 1080 kicks and kicking after doing a tumble.
They even kicked a target while blindfolded!
At the museum, we learned interesting information about taekwondo.
Next, we rode the monorail and went to the observation deck.
Using binoculars, we saw a garden and a Korean traditional house.
After watching all the performances, I felt inspired.
I want to be like them, so I will practice taekwondo more and become great at it.
Note: As you've observed, my corrected versions are in paragraphs. Please remember that paragraphing helps make your writing clear and easy to read. When you start a new paragraph, it shows that you are talking about a new idea, place, or time. This helps the reader understand your story step by step. Paragraphs also make your writing look nice, not too long or confusing. If everything is in one big block, it’s hard to follow. Using good paragraphing shows that you can organize your thoughts well, which is an important writing skill.
