I took a cooking class on Children's Day. I made pepperoni pizza that is my favorite. I mixed all the ingredients for pizza dough. It was my first time kneading dough. I played Nintendo games with my dad while fermenting about 30 minutes. I spread the tomato sauce on the shaped dough and placed toppings with pepperoni, potatoes, and pizza cheese. I played Halli Galli with him while baking it. We got home with it and enjoyed it all together.
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Here are the corrections:
Original: I took a cooking class on Children's Day.
Corrected: ✅ No correction needed.
Explanation: This sentence is grammatically correct and clear.
Original: I made pepperoni pizza that is my favorite.
Corrected: I made pepperoni pizza, which is my favorite.
Explanation: Use “which” with a comma to add extra, non-essential information about the pizza.
Original: I mixed all the ingredients for pizza dough.
Corrected: ✅ No correction needed.
Explanation: Clear and grammatically correct.
Original: It was my first time kneading dough.
Corrected: ✅ No correction needed.
Explanation: This is a natural and correct sentence.
Original: I played Nintendo games with my dad while fermenting about 30 minutes.
Corrected: I played Nintendo games with my dad while the dough was fermenting for about 30 minutes.
Explanation: Clarified that “the dough” was fermenting, and added “for” to indicate duration.
Original: I spread the tomato sauce on the shaped dough and placed toppings with pepperoni, potatoes, and pizza cheese.
Corrected: I spread tomato sauce on the shaped dough and added toppings like pepperoni, potatoes, and pizza cheese.
Explanation: “Added toppings like...” is more natural. “With” was unclear here.
Original: I played Halli Galli with him while baking it.
Corrected: I played Halli Galli with him while it was baking.
Explanation: “While it was baking” is the correct sentence structure.
Original: We got home with it and enjoyed it all together.
Corrected: We brought it home and enjoyed it together.
Explanation: “Got home with it” is awkward—“brought it home” is more natural.
Final Edited Text:
I took a cooking class on Children's Day. I made pepperoni pizza, which is my favorite. I mixed all the ingredients for pizza dough. It was my first time kneading dough. I played Nintendo games with my dad while the dough was fermenting for about 30 minutes. I spread tomato sauce on the shaped dough and added toppings like pepperoni, potatoes, and pizza cheese. I played Halli Galli with him while it was baking. We brought it home and enjoyed it together.
