영작교정
목록
완료

Diary

It was my husband's birthday. He didn't celebrate for birthday specially. But I like hold for event that have celebrate for birthday, anniversary of someday and so on. Last Tuesday, all of family done work early than another weeks. So we had held a husband's birthay party. My parents came to my home for a long time . We 've spend a good time. I bought cake my favorite 's bakery sell. Their cake is the best than I 've tried another shop. Even I got married, caring for eachother.

It was my husband's birthday. He didn't celebrate for birthday specially. But I like hold for event that have celebrate for birthday, anniversary of someday and so on. Last Tuesday, all of family done work early than another weeks. So we had held a husband's birthay party. My parents came to my home for a long time . We 've spend a good time. I bought cake my favorite 's bakery sell. Their cake is the best than I 've tried another shop. Even I got married, caring for eachother.

=================================================================================================================================
 

Here are the corrections:

  1. Original: It was my husband's birthday.

    • Explanation: This sentence is grammatically correct but could be more engaging.
    • Corrected: It was my husband's birthday.
  2. Original: He didn't celebrate for birthday specially.

    • Explanation: The preposition "for" is unnecessary, and "specially" should be replaced with "in a special way" to clarify the meaning.
    • Corrected: He didn't celebrate his birthday in a special way.
  3. Original: But I like hold for event that have celebrate for birthday, anniversary of someday and so on.

    • Explanation: "Hold" should be the gerund "holding," and the structure is awkward. Replace "for event that have celebrate for" with "holding events to celebrate," and simplify "anniversary of someday."
    • Corrected: But I enjoy holding events to celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, and other special occasions.
  4. Original: Last Tuesday, all of family done work early than another weeks.

    • Explanation: "All of family" needs to be "all of my family," "done work" is incorrect (use "finished work"), and "another weeks" should be "other weeks."
    • Corrected: Last Tuesday, all of my family finished work earlier than in other weeks.
  5. Original: So we had held a husband's birthay party.

    • Explanation: "Had held" is incorrect here; use "had" or "held." "A husband's" should be "my husband's."
    • Corrected: So we had a birthday party for my husband.
  6. Original: My parents came to my home for a long time.

    • Explanation: The phrase "for a long time" implies a lengthy stay, but it seems the intention was to say that they visited after a long time.
    • Corrected: My parents visited my home for the first time in a long while.
  7. Original: We 've spend a good time.

    • Explanation: "We 've spend" is incorrect; use "We spent." "A good time" is fine but could be enhanced to "a great time."
    • Corrected: We spent a great time together.
  8. Original: I bought cake my favorite 's bakery sell.

    • Explanation: Add an article ("a" or "the") before "cake," and "'s" is unnecessary. Use "sells" instead of "sell" to agree with the subject.
    • Corrected: I bought a cake from my favorite bakery.
  9. Original: Their cake is the best than I 've tried another shop.

    • Explanation: "The best than" should be "the best I've tried compared to any other shop."
    • Corrected: Their cake is the best I've tried compared to any other shop.
  10. Original: Even I got married, caring for eachother.

    • Explanation: "Even I got married" is incomplete and should be "Even after getting married." "Eachother" should be "each other."
    • Corrected: Even after getting married, we continue caring for each other.

Revised Text:

It was my husband's birthday. He didn't celebrate his birthday in a special way. But I enjoy holding events to celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, and other special occasions. Last Tuesday, all of my family finished work earlier than in other weeks. So, we had a birthday party for my husband. My parents visited my home for the first time in a long while. We spent a great time together. I bought a cake from my favorite bakery. Their cake is the best I've tried compared to any other shop. Even after getting married, we continue caring for each other.


수강정보
필리핀 전화영어 주 2회 10분 4주
튜터
Anna
교재
New+ Get Up to Speed Situational 2
[시니어] 정규
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
7294
완료
[19번째 영작 첨삭] Trip to the Gangwon-do
Joe
Maecy
2025.08.04
7293
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Mercy watson
문아율
Maria
2025.08.04
7292
완료
[44번째 영작 첨삭] homework
Liam
Shyla
2025.08.04
7291
완료
[43번째 영작 첨삭] homework
Liam
Shyla
2025.08.04
7290
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] A first english diary
Kim Eunsil
Melissa
2025.08.01
7289
완료
[74번째 영작 첨삭] 7/31
Min
Anna
2025.07.31
7288
완료
[25번째 영작 첨삭] hi tracher~~~!!
stella
Edleth
2025.07.31
7287
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] Sorry for waiting me on last Tuesday.
Youngkyoung
K
2025.07.31
7286
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Text book recommendation
Chloe Park
Levi
2025.07.30
7285
완료
[18번째 영작 첨삭] Pajama Party
YERIN
Heanna
2025.07.29
7284
완료
[73번째 영작 첨삭] 7/24
Min
Anna
2025.07.29
7283
완료
[22번째 영작 첨삭] today
김정화
Myryl
2025.07.29
7282
완료
[13번째 영작 첨삭] Hello, teacher. Long time no see.
윤도현
Rishelle
2025.07.28
7281
완료
[18번째 영작 첨삭] Trip to the lake park
Joe
Maecy
2025.07.28
7280
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] I'm sad to say goodbye to you.
Tony
Charm
2025.07.28
7279
완료
[3번째 영작 첨삭] homework
Cindy
Anabelle
2025.07.28
7278
완료
[21번째 영작 첨삭] so hot
김정화
Myryl
2025.07.28
7277
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] 1. Allergic cards
Seul
Edleth
2025.07.28
7276
완료
[24번째 영작 첨삭] Teacher, i have a favor to ask you!
stella
Edleth
2025.07.27
7275
완료
[15번째 영작 첨삭] To Mischa
Oh Mi Hyun
Mischa
2025.07.25
8 9 10 11 12 13 14

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침