영작교정
목록
완료

10/3

There was a stream nearby and a large swimming pool. The water in the pool was warm, so it was suitable to swim and play even in the cooled off weather. My mom brought her made kimbap to make our break time. We had some snak and took a rest. After swimming, my dad and I enjoyed the spa in the bathtub of our room. We enjoyed BBQ on the terrace for dinner. It was so good. I woke up feeling hot in bed, moved to the cool couch, and could go back to sleep.

There was a stream nearby and a large swimming pool. The water in the pool was warm, so it was suitable to swim and play even in the cooled off weather. My mom brought her made kimbap to make our break time. We had some snak and took a rest. After swimming, my dad and I enjoyed the spa in the bathtub of our room. We enjoyed BBQ on the terrace for dinner. It was so good. I woke up feeling hot in bed, moved to the cool couch, and could go back to sleep.
==============================================================================================================================

Here are the corrections:

  1. There was a stream nearby and a large swimming pool.

    • Correction: "There was a stream nearby and a large swimming pool."
    • Explanation: This sentence is already correct. Great job!
  2. The water in the pool was warm, so it was suitable to swim and play even in the cooled off weather.

    • Correction: "The water in the pool was warm, so it was suitable for swimming and playing even in the cooler weather."
    • Explanation: We say "suitable for swimming and playing" instead of "suitable to swim and play." Also, "cooled off weather" should be "cooler weather" to make it sound better.
  3. My mom brought her made kimbap to make our break time.

    • Correction: "My mom brought her homemade kimbap for our break time."
    • Explanation: We use "homemade" instead of "made" because it means she made it herself. We also say "for our break time" instead of "to make our break time," which sounds more natural.
  4. We had some snak and took a rest.

    • Correction: "We had some snacks and took a rest."
    • Explanation: "Snak" should be corrected to "snacks," which is the right word for small foods we eat.
  5. After swimming, my dad and I enjoyed the spa in the bathtub of our room.

    • Correction: "After swimming, my dad and I enjoyed the spa in the bathtub in our room."
    • Explanation: It’s better to say "in the bathtub in our room" for clarity.
  6. We enjoyed BBQ on the terrace for dinner.

    • Correction: "We enjoyed BBQ on the terrace for dinner."
    • Explanation: This sentence is also correct as it is! Great job!
  7. It was so good.

    • Correction: "It was so good!"
    • Explanation: Adding an exclamation mark makes it sound more excited!
  8. I woke up feeling hot in bed, moved to the cool couch, and could go back to sleep.

    • Correction: "I woke up feeling hot in bed, moved to the cool couch, and was able to go back to sleep."
    • Explanation: We change "could" to "was able to" for better clarity in this context.

Revised Text:

There was a stream nearby and a large swimming pool. The water in the pool was warm, so it was suitable for swimming and playing even in the cooler weather. My mom brought her homemade kimbap for our break time. We had some snacks and took a rest. After swimming, my dad and I enjoyed the spa in the bathtub in our room. We enjoyed BBQ on the terrace for dinner! It was so good! I woke up feeling hot in bed, moved to the cool couch, and was able to go back to sleep.


수강정보
필리핀 전화영어 주 2회 10분 24주
튜터
Anna
교재
Hand in Hand 3
[주니어] 정규
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
15
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] a letter about my strengths and weaknesses.
YuHyeon
-
2014.12.29
14
완료
[5번째 영작 첨삭] sport betting
clair
-
2014.12.27
13
완료
[4번째 영작 첨삭] Buffet
clair
-
2014.12.18
12
완료
[3번째 영작 첨삭] movie(Celeste and Jesse Forever(2012) II
clair
-
2014.12.17
11
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] headake
Choi jin young
-
2014.12.16
10
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] movie(Celeste and Jesse Forever(2012) I
clair
-
2014.12.16
9
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] cooking
clair
-
2014.12.09
8
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Today's journal
choi misun
-
2014.12.09
7
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] business mail
-
Charm
2014.12.04
6
완료
[4번째 영작 첨삭] help me(4th)
-
Charm
2014.12.03
5
완료
[3번째 영작 첨삭] help me (3rd)
-
Charm
2014.12.03
4
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] help me! 2nd
-
Charm
2014.12.03
3
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] helpe me.
-
Charm
2014.12.03
2
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] clss
Christine
Charm
2014.09.22
1
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] hi~ nice to meet you
lucy
Charm
2014.09.11
372

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침