Oct. 8 2023 Diary

Today my family watched Asian game.
I watched badminton, weightlifting, soccer.
Among them badminton was most amazing.
Player An- se young suddenly she hurt leg, so she had bandage her leg.
She looked very painful, but she don't give up and did it to the end.
Finally she won and got a gold medal.
I was so proud of Korea team.

Today, my family watched Asian game.
I watched badminton, weightlifting, and soccer.
Among them, badminton was the most amazing.
Player An-se Young suddenly she hurt her leg, so she had bandaged her leg.
She looked very much in pain, but she didn't give up and did it to the end.
Finally, she won and got a gold medal.
I was so proud of the Korean team.

 

Note: Good day, Jian. I corrected your composition. You did well on this one. However, you have to learn how and when to use a comma. You can observe in my correction how and when to use it. The blue ones are the words that I added, while the green ones are the ones I corrected.