영작교정
목록
완료

Writing

<>

At first, To be honest, I thought that fathers have to work hard and earn lots of money in my childhood.
I don't know well about money and time, because I was so young at that time. So I evaluted money is best.
At that time, my father and mother always play with me, so I don't understand family's thanks.

But now, I think that money is not all of life. Many people dreams to earn lots of money. Making lots of money can help people to live comfortable. But it never bring happiness.
For example, There are two people. One has no money, but have good family. And other has lots of money but no family. Who can live more happy? I think the first person would be more happy than second person.

In my case, My father and mother both of them work to earn money. So I missed them so much.
I could understand their real love for me through growing up.
These days, I understand them. Because they work hard because of me. So i want to help them(do the dishes, clean the house, ect..)

Earn lots of money is important for all the people.
But we have to remember that earning money is not all of life, and there is a more important thing in the world. It will be our family.
How about spending thime with your family in this winter vacation? Any activites will be okay. Just spending time with family is special and best! Enjoy your times~
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher, How about your oppinion?
Thank you!


Honestly, at first, I thought that parents need to work hard and earn lots of money to raise their children.
I didn't  know well about money at that time because I was so young.  

 My father and mother used to play with me when i was a little girl and  I didn't understand my family's situation at that time.

But now, I think that money is not all that matters in my life . Many people dream to earn lots of money. Making lots of money can help people to live a comfortable life. But it never brings happiness.
For example, There are two people. One has no money, but have a good family and other has lots of money but no family. Who can live a happier life? I think the first person would be happier than second person.

In my case, My father and mother both work to earn money. So I missed them so much.
I  understand that they are showing  their  love for me through raising me well.
These days, I understand them that they need to work hard because of me. So i want to help them in the most simple way like washing the  dishes, clean the house, ect..)

Earning lots of money is important for all the people.
But we have to remember that earning money shouldn't consumed our whole life. There are  more important thing in the world and that would be our family.
How about spending time with them  in this winter vacation? Any activites would be okay. Spending our time with our family in the most special way and be the best with what you can be! Have a great day~
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher, How about your oppinion?
Thank you!


수강정보
필리핀 전화영어 주 2회 10분 12주
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
7432
완료
[4번째 영작 첨삭] homework
Cindy
Anabelle
2025.10.01
7431
완료
[60번째 영작 첨삭] homework
Liam
Shyla
2025.10.01
7430
완료
[11번째 영작 첨삭] Golden holiday
Hyang
Edleth
2025.10.01
7429
완료
[3번째 영작 첨삭] last class
Selly
Pau
2025.09.30
7428
완료
[10번째 영작 첨삭] The jobless me actually enjoys Mondays!
Hyang
Edleth
2025.09.30
7427
완료
[59번째 영작 첨삭] homework
Liam
Shyla
2025.09.29
7426
완료
[87번째 영작 첨삭] I love suwon.
David
Crissia
2025.09.29
7425
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] The first day of my work
Bella
Gie
2025.09.29
7424
완료
[9번째 영작 첨삭] Buy cycle 2
Terry
Vivien
2025.09.28
7423
완료
[8번째 영작 첨삭] Buy cycle
Terry
Vivien
2025.09.28
7422
완료
[28번째 영작 첨삭] Night Market
kim bo min
Joel
2025.09.27
7421
완료
[27번째 영작 첨삭] Night Market
kim bo min
Joel
2025.09.27
7420
완료
[62번째 영작 첨삭] I want this app.
JiHu
Gresha
2025.09.27
7419
완료
[61번째 영작 첨삭] I want to create an app
JiHu
Gresha
2025.09.27
7418
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Go to the bakery.
Jay
Sarah
2025.09.26
7417
완료
[86번째 영작 첨삭] 9/23
Min
Anna
2025.09.26
7416
완료
[9번째 영작 첨삭] I watched a movie titled ’No other choice’.
Hyang
Edleth
2025.09.25
7415
완료
[58번째 영작 첨삭] very cute Liam's homework
Liam
Shyla
2025.09.24
7414
완료
[16번째 영작 첨삭] To Melissa
Oh Mi Hyun
Melissa
2025.09.24
7413
완료
[8번째 영작 첨삭] Hump day
Hyang
Edleth
2025.09.24
1 2 3 4 5 6 7

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침