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I have a big plan.

I have a big plan!
If all goes well,I will have a green card in four years.
I plan to have a green card.
To this, there are so many things to do.
First of all, I have to get a master's degree and write at least two papers.
I should attend training related to my major and prepare proof materials that can help American society.
I have been working in IT. My main career is S/W engineering.
For example I have been managed quality of S/W in Robot,Health care system and so on.
These my career and various experiences are helpful to get a green card.

The reason to get a green card is for my daughter.
In Korea, the competition for education is terrible.
Korean students have to study a lot of time to enter the famous(good) university.
They become to be tired of study and even hate it.
they don't study for their dream but also to enter the university.
It's very wasteful both teenager and their parents.

I hope my daughter studies in a more flexible society that gives her more opportunities.
If I get a green card,she can stay to study in U.S.A.
I will make steady efforts for it.
Pleas wish me luck.

              I have a big plan! I plan to have a green card. If all goes well, I will have it in four years. Through this, there are a lot of things that I can do. First of all, I have to get a master's degree and write atleast two papers. I should attend trainings related to my major and prepare proof materials that can help American society. 

              I have been working in IT and my main career is S/W Engineering. For example, I manage quality of S/W in Robotics, Health Care System and so on. These are some of my experiences in my career that are going to be helpful to have a green card.

             The reason why I want to have a green card is for my daughter. In Korea, the competition for education is terrible. Korean students have to study hard to enter famous or good university. They get tired studying and they even start hating it. They don't only study for their dreams, but also to be able to enter the university. It's a waste for both teenagers and their parents. 

            I hope that my daughter studies in a more flexible society. that will give her more opportunities. If I have a green card, she can stay and study in the USA and I will make efforts for it to happen. Please wish me luck.

---------------------------------------------

            Hello! Your plan is really nice and I hope that you can a green card for your daughter's future. Education system in really different from other countries and I admire you for not pressuring your daughter to study hard, instead you want her to enjoy life which is really good for her. As she studies, you also want her to have time for herself and enjoy life. I wish you luck for your green card application.

            With regards to your writing, you have describle clearly, however you need to sequence your sentences( arrange your sentences), so the reader won't be confused with what you want them to know or understand. Please see the corrections I have made on your writing.

 

- KATH 

 


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