I was helping my mom peel garlic before my English class. We have one hundred bulbs of garlic that need to be peeled; I don't know when we'll finish. The fingertip on my right thumb had gotten to feel like it was burning, and the pungent odor filled my house. Tomorrow, my mom and I are going to the mill to grind them. Then she is going to make a kimchi sauce using ground garlic. When the leaves turn fall colors, I'll go to the mountains to see the fall foliage and go camping. I'll spend a lot of time looking around and eating something delicious.
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Here are the corrections:
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Original: I was helping my mom peel garlic before my English class.
Corrected: ✅ (No correction needed)
Explanation: This sentence is clear and grammatically correct. -
Original: We have one hundred bulbs of garlic that need to be peeled; I don't know when we'll finish.
Corrected: We have a hundred bulbs of garlic to peel, and I don’t know when we’ll finish.
Explanation: “A hundred” is more natural in casual writing. “That need to be peeled” is fine, but “to peel” sounds more fluent. Replacing the semicolon with “and” improves flow. -
Original: The fingertip on my right thumb had gotten to feel like it was burning, and the pungent odor filled my house.
Corrected: The tip of my right thumb started to feel like it was burning, and the pungent odor filled the house.
Explanation: “Had gotten to feel like” is awkward. “Started to feel” is more natural. “The tip of my right thumb” is smoother than “the fingertip on my right thumb.” “The house” is more concise since “my” is implied. -
Original: Tomorrow, my mom and I are going to the mill to grind them.
Corrected: ✅ (No correction needed)
Explanation: This sentence is clear and correct. -
Original: Then she is going to make a kimchi sauce using ground garlic.
Corrected: Then she’s going to make kimchi sauce using the ground garlic.
Explanation: “Kimchi sauce” is usually uncountable, so “a” is unnecessary. Adding “the” before “ground garlic” makes the sentence more specific, referring to the garlic just mentioned. -
Original: When the leaves turn fall colors, I'll go to the mountains to see the fall foliage and go camping.
Corrected: When the leaves change color, I’ll go to the mountains to see the fall foliage and go camping.
Explanation: “Turn fall colors” is understandable but not natural. The phrase “change color” is the standard expression. -
Original: I'll spend a lot of time looking around and eating something delicious.
Corrected: I’ll spend a lot of time exploring and eating something delicious.
Explanation: “Looking around” is okay, but “exploring” is stronger and more descriptive, especially when talking about nature or travel.
Final Revised Text
I was helping my mom peel garlic before my English class. We have a hundred bulbs of garlic to peel, and I don’t know when we’ll finish. The tip of my right thumb started to feel like it was burning, and the pungent odor filled the house. Tomorrow, my mom and I are going to the mill to grind them. Then she’s going to make kimchi sauce using the ground garlic. When the leaves change color, I’ll go to the mountains to see the fall foliage and go camping. I’ll spend a lot of time exploring and eating something delicious.
NOTE:
Nice job, Min! Your writing paints a vivid picture of your day and your plans. Just a few small changes made it sound more natural. Keep it up - you’re improving steadily!
