While I was finishing the pants for my dad, I pricked the middle finger of my left hand with the sewing machine needle. Although I was in pain, I calmly told my instructor. She quickly stopped the bleeding and right away took me to an orthopedic office that was three floors up in the building across the street. So I got an X-ray taken, dressed and bandaged the wound, and got an injection too. It was only after that I filled my prescription for two days' worth at a pharmacy, and we could return to our studio. My instructor and mom finished making the pants instead of me. The well-made pants pleased me. After my last sewing class, we went to our go-to café. Their bakery was amazing. The wound was uncomfortable but no longer hurt. I'll need to be more careful from now on.
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Original:
While I was finishing the pants for my dad, I pricked the middle finger of my left hand with the sewing machine needle.
Corrected:
While I was finishing the pants for my dad, I pricked the middle finger on my left hand with the sewing machine needle.
Explanation:
Use "on" instead of "of" when referring to parts of the body. "On my left hand" sounds more natural.
Original:
Although I was in pain, I calmly told my instructor.
Corrected:
Although I was in pain, I calmly told my instructor.
Explanation:
This sentence is already correct. No changes are needed.
Original:
She quickly stopped the bleeding and right away took me to an orthopedic office that was three floors up in the building across the street.
Corrected:
She quickly stopped the bleeding and immediately took me to an orthopedic office three floors up in the building across the street.
Explanation:
"Right away" is fine, but "immediately" is a more formal and clear choice. The phrase "three floors up" is better without "that was."
Original:
So I got an X-ray taken, dressed and bandaged the wound, and got an injection too.
Corrected:
So I had an X-ray taken, had the wound dressed and bandaged, and received an injection as well.
Explanation:
Use "had" instead of "got" when talking about medical procedures to sound more natural. "Received" is also a more formal and fitting choice than "got."
Original:
It was only after that I filled my prescription for two days' worth at a pharmacy, and we could return to our studio.
Corrected:
Only after that did I fill my prescription for two days' worth at a pharmacy, and we could return to our studio.
Explanation:
The word order is incorrect here. "Only after that" should be followed by "did I fill" to form a correct sentence structure.
Original:
My instructor and mom finished making the pants instead of me.
Corrected:
My instructor and mom finished making the pants for me.
Explanation:
"Instead of me" doesn’t quite fit the context. "For me" is clearer, as it shows that they made the pants on your behalf.
Original:
The well-made pants pleased me.
Corrected:
I was pleased with the well-made pants.
Explanation:
This rephrasing makes the sentence more natural in English. "I was pleased with" sounds more common than "pleased me."
Original:
After my last sewing class, we went to our go-to café.
Corrected:
After my last sewing class, we went to our favorite café.
Explanation:
"Go-to café" is fine in informal speech, but "favorite café" is a more commonly used expression, especially in writing.
Original:
Their bakery was amazing.
Corrected:
Their bakery was amazing.
Explanation:
This sentence is already correct. No changes needed.
Original:
The wound was uncomfortable but no longer hurt.
Corrected:
The wound was uncomfortable but no longer hurt.
Explanation:
This sentence is already correct. No changes needed.
Original:
I'll need to be more careful from now on.
Corrected:
I'll need to be more careful from now on.
Explanation:
This sentence is already correct. No changes needed.
Final Edited Text:
While I was finishing the pants for my dad, I pricked the middle finger on my left hand with the sewing machine needle. Although I was in pain, I calmly told my instructor. She quickly stopped the bleeding and immediately took me to an orthopedic office three floors up in the building across the street. So I had an X-ray taken, had the wound dressed and bandaged, and received an injection as well. Only after that did I fill my prescription for two days' worth at a pharmacy, and we could return to our studio. My instructor and mom finished making the pants for me. I was pleased with the well-made pants. After my last sewing class, we went to our favorite café. Their bakery was amazing. The wound was uncomfortable but no longer hurt. I'll need to be more careful from now on.
"Great job overall! You're using good detail to tell your story. Just focus on small adjustments like word choice and sentence structure to make your writing even smoother. Keep up the great work, Min!"
