Hello, my name's hanhae kim. I'm 17 years old. I'm studying at university 1st grade, so freshman. In university, I'm majoring in data science. It is a study that is collecting and analyzing various types of data to extract meaningful information and knowledge. I think my personality matches my major well because I have analytical character. There are 3 people in my house including me. my parents are outgoing like me. I really love my family.
Correction: Hello, I'm Hanhae Kim. I'm 17 years old and a freshman in university, studying data science. This field involves gathering and analyzing different kinds of data to find valuable insights and knowledge. I believe my personality fits my major well since I have an analytical nature. There are three people in my household, including myself. My parents are sociable, just like me. I truly love my family.
Note: I'm 17 years old. I'm studying at university 1st grade, so freshman In university, I'm majoring in data science - I'm 17 years old and a freshman in university, studying data science. ( make it short but clear)
It is a study that is collecting and analyzing various types of data to extract meaningful information and knowledge. - This field involves gathering and analyzing different kinds of data to find valuable insights and knowledge ( rephrasing - use appropriate vocabulary to sound better and understandable) - words used were appropriate good job
including me - including "myself " ( use this word much better)
my parents are outgoing like me I really love my family - My parents are sociable, just like me. I truly love my family. ( just rephrase - tip and suggestion )
Well done! Keep moving forward. - Alice
