We wanted our hairstyles changed, so my mom booked the hair salon appointment for 3 pm tomorrow at first. But actually we were able to visit on Sunday at 3 pm due to our hairdresser's mistakes and her plans. My mom received a dye treatment and a layered haircut. I got an Ivy League haircut and a down perm. We both have been satisfied. There also were animals, which were fish and a chinchilla. The chinchilla was sleeping while we were in there because they are nocturnal animals. It was so cute.
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Here are the corrections:
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Original:
We wanted our hairstyles changed, so my mom booked the hair salon appointment for 3 pm tomorrow at first.
Corrected:
We wanted to change our hairstyles, so my mom originally booked a hair salon appointment for 3 p.m. tomorrow.
Explanation:
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"Wanted our hairstyles changed" → "wanted to change our hairstyles" sounds more natural.
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"At first" → should be placed earlier for clarity: "originally booked..."
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Original:
But actually we were able to visit on Sunday at 3 pm due to our hairdresser's mistakes and her plans.
Corrected:
But actually, we were able to visit on Sunday at 3 p.m. because of our hairdresser’s mistake and her schedule.
Explanation:
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"Due to" is better replaced with "because of" here for a smoother tone.
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"Mistakes" → "mistake" fits better since you're likely referring to one scheduling error.
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"Her plans" → changed to "her schedule" for clarity in context.
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Original:
My mom received a dye treatment and a layered haircut.
Corrected:
✓ My mom received a dye treatment and a layered haircut.
Explanation:
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This sentence is already correct.
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Original:
I got an Ivy League haircut and a down perm.
Corrected:
✓ I got an Ivy League haircut and a down perm.
Explanation:
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This sentence is also clear and correct.
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Original:
We both have been satisfied.
Corrected:
We were both satisfied.
Explanation:
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"Have been" suggests an ongoing state, but past tense "were" fits better here since it's a completed experience.
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Original:
There also were animals, which were fish and a chinchilla.
Corrected:
There were also some animals: fish and a chinchilla.
Explanation:
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"There also were" → more natural as "There were also..."
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Use of colon after "animals" is better style when listing.
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Original:
The chinchilla was sleeping while we were in there because they are nocturnal animals.
Corrected:
The chinchilla was sleeping while we were there because chinchillas are nocturnal animals.
Explanation:
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"In there" → simplified to "there"
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"They are" → replaced with "chinchillas are" for clarity and agreement (singular subject, general plural fact)
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Original:
It was so cute.
Corrected:
✓ It was so cute.
Explanation:
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This sentence is fine and expressive.
Final Edited Text:
We wanted to change our hairstyles, so my mom originally booked a hair salon appointment for 3 p.m. tomorrow. But actually, we were able to visit on Sunday at 3 p.m. because of our hairdresser’s mistake and her schedule. My mom received a dye treatment and a layered haircut. I got an Ivy League haircut and a down perm. We were both satisfied. There were also some animals: fish and a chinchilla. The chinchilla was sleeping while we were there because chinchillas are nocturnal animals. It was so cute.
