영작교정
목록
완료

Diary

We celebrated to my son's pass the swim level test. He fanally mastered all of swim skill. Many kids also got a korea swimming certification from association. But it was worth it for our. because he overcame his fear of water.It seems that He is getting heathier after learning to swim and he felt confident himself. I just was surprised he get into water inside. So we had a good dinner and held a party to him.

We celebrated to my son's pass the swim level test. He fanally mastered all of swim skill. Many kids also got a korea swimming certification from association. But it was worth it for our. because he overcame his fear of water.It seems that He is getting heathier after learning to swim and he felt confident himself. I just was surprised he get into water inside. So we had a good dinner and held a party to him.
====================================================================================================================================================

Here are the corrections:

  1. Original: We celebrated to my son's pass the swim level test.
    Corrected: We celebrated my son's passing the swim level test.
    Explanation: "Celebrate" is not followed by "to" and we say "passing" (a gerund) instead of "pass."

  2. Original: He fanally mastered all of swim skill.
    Corrected: He finally mastered all the swimming skills.
    Explanation: “Fanally” → “finally” (spelling); “all of swim skill” → “all the swimming skills” (correct plural and article).

  3. Original: Many kids also got a korea swimming certification from association.
    Corrected: Many kids also received a Korean swimming certification from the association.
    Explanation: Capitalization: “Korea” → “Korean”; missing articles: “a Korean swimming certification” and “the association.”

  4. Original: But it was worth it for our.
    Corrected: But it was worth it for us.
    Explanation: "Our" is a possessive adjective and cannot stand alone. It should be "us" (object pronoun).

  5. Original: because he overcame his fear of water.
    Corrected: because he overcame his fear of water. ✅
    Explanation: Correct, but this should be joined to the previous sentence for fluency.

  6. Original: It seems that He is getting heathier after learning to swim and he felt confident himself.
    Corrected: It seems that he is getting healthier after learning to swim, and he feels more confident.
    Explanation: “Heathier” → “healthier” (spelling); “he felt confident himself” → “he feels more confident” (tense and phrasing correction).

  7. Original: I just was surprised he get into water inside.
    Corrected: I was just surprised that he got into the water.
    Explanation: Word order corrected; “get” → “got” (past tense); “water inside” is unclear, so revised to natural phrasing.

  8. Original: So we had a good dinner and held a party to him.
    Corrected: So we had a nice dinner and held a party for him.
    Explanation: We say “a party for someone,” not “to someone.”


Final Edited Version:

We celebrated my son's passing the swim level test. He finally mastered all the swimming skills. Many kids also received a Korean swimming certification from the association. It was worth it for us because he overcame his fear of water. It seems that he is getting healthier after learning to swim, and he feels more confident. I was just surprised that he got into the water. So we had a nice dinner and held a party for him.


수강정보
필리핀 전화영어 주 2회 10분 4주
튜터
Anna
교재
New+ Get Up to Speed Situational 2
[시니어] 정규
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
1056
완료
[10번째 영작 첨삭] fall
Henry
-
2020.06.05
1055
완료
[9번째 영작 첨삭] summer
Henry
-
2020.06.05
1054
완료
[8번째 영작 첨삭] spring
Henry
-
2020.06.05
1053
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] My family
Lucy
-
2020.06.05
1052
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] My Family
James
-
2020.06.05
1051
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] My family
1
-
2020.06.05
1050
완료
[3번째 영작 첨삭] My hobby
Sunny
-
2020.06.05
1049
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] My family
Sunny
-
2020.06.05
1048
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] My family
Sunny
-
2020.06.05
1047
접수
[11번째 영작 첨삭] (JIN)Donghak Farmers' Movement
jin
-
2020.06.05
1046
접수
[8번째 영작 첨삭] Daily life.
Yejin Choi
-
2020.06.05
1045
완료
[13번째 영작 첨삭] my diary.
sukyung Kim
-
2020.06.04
1044
접수
[8번째 영작 첨삭] jajangmyeon
Lee gi seop
-
2020.06.04
1043
접수
[1번째 영작 첨삭] my diary
Lyan
-
2020.06.04
1042
완료
[5번째 영작 첨삭] My family's favorite season
Min
-
2020.06.04
1041
완료
[3번째 영작 첨삭] My best friend
Kevin
-
2020.06.04
1040
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] My Family
Kevin
-
2020.06.04
1039
완료
[4번째 영작 첨삭] Quiz battle
Min
-
2020.06.04
1038
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] My family
Jayden
-
2020.06.04
1037
완료
[3번째 영작 첨삭] My family
Min
-
2020.06.04

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침