영작교정
목록
완료

Diary

We celebrated to my son's pass the swim level test. He fanally mastered all of swim skill. Many kids also got a korea swimming certification from association. But it was worth it for our. because he overcame his fear of water.It seems that He is getting heathier after learning to swim and he felt confident himself. I just was surprised he get into water inside. So we had a good dinner and held a party to him.

We celebrated to my son's pass the swim level test. He fanally mastered all of swim skill. Many kids also got a korea swimming certification from association. But it was worth it for our. because he overcame his fear of water.It seems that He is getting heathier after learning to swim and he felt confident himself. I just was surprised he get into water inside. So we had a good dinner and held a party to him.
====================================================================================================================================================

Here are the corrections:

  1. Original: We celebrated to my son's pass the swim level test.
    Corrected: We celebrated my son's passing the swim level test.
    Explanation: "Celebrate" is not followed by "to" and we say "passing" (a gerund) instead of "pass."

  2. Original: He fanally mastered all of swim skill.
    Corrected: He finally mastered all the swimming skills.
    Explanation: “Fanally” → “finally” (spelling); “all of swim skill” → “all the swimming skills” (correct plural and article).

  3. Original: Many kids also got a korea swimming certification from association.
    Corrected: Many kids also received a Korean swimming certification from the association.
    Explanation: Capitalization: “Korea” → “Korean”; missing articles: “a Korean swimming certification” and “the association.”

  4. Original: But it was worth it for our.
    Corrected: But it was worth it for us.
    Explanation: "Our" is a possessive adjective and cannot stand alone. It should be "us" (object pronoun).

  5. Original: because he overcame his fear of water.
    Corrected: because he overcame his fear of water. ✅
    Explanation: Correct, but this should be joined to the previous sentence for fluency.

  6. Original: It seems that He is getting heathier after learning to swim and he felt confident himself.
    Corrected: It seems that he is getting healthier after learning to swim, and he feels more confident.
    Explanation: “Heathier” → “healthier” (spelling); “he felt confident himself” → “he feels more confident” (tense and phrasing correction).

  7. Original: I just was surprised he get into water inside.
    Corrected: I was just surprised that he got into the water.
    Explanation: Word order corrected; “get” → “got” (past tense); “water inside” is unclear, so revised to natural phrasing.

  8. Original: So we had a good dinner and held a party to him.
    Corrected: So we had a nice dinner and held a party for him.
    Explanation: We say “a party for someone,” not “to someone.”


Final Edited Version:

We celebrated my son's passing the swim level test. He finally mastered all the swimming skills. Many kids also received a Korean swimming certification from the association. It was worth it for us because he overcame his fear of water. It seems that he is getting healthier after learning to swim, and he feels more confident. I was just surprised that he got into the water. So we had a nice dinner and held a party for him.


수강정보
필리핀 전화영어 주 2회 10분 4주
튜터
Anna
교재
New+ Get Up to Speed Situational 2
[시니어] 정규
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
5356
완료
[23번째 영작 첨삭] Terrible day
Yoon
Anna
2023.11.14
5355
완료
[25번째 영작 첨삭] entrance examination
Foster
Camille
2023.11.14
5354
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Mrs. Roopy Is Loopy
Daniel
Bowen
2023.11.14
5353
완료
[66번째 영작 첨삭] Holiday in Korea
Rachel
Jenica
2023.11.13
5352
완료
[139번째 영작 첨삭] Homework
Aiden
Aya
2023.11.13
5351
접수
[1번째 영작 첨삭] To my tutor Jessa
추은정
-
2023.11.13
5350
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Mt.Hanla
doi
Anabelle
2023.11.13
5349
완료
[45번째 영작 첨삭] badminton
Aiden
Albie
2023.11.13
5348
완료
[44번째 영작 첨삭] fishing
Aiden
Albie
2023.11.13
5347
완료
[22번째 영작 첨삭] GREAT DAY
Yoon
Anna
2023.11.13
5346
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Thank you, Teacher
Victoria
Lex
2023.11.13
5345
완료
[3번째 영작 첨삭] My favorite country
Jay
Garlie
2023.11.12
5344
완료
[29번째 영작 첨삭] The school test
EUNMI PARK
Maribel
2023.11.12
5343
완료
[33번째 영작 첨삭] go hospital with Hanyul
Oliver
-
2023.11.11
5342
완료
[4번째 영작 첨삭] Today's class
Chloe
Sera
2023.11.11
5341
완료
[3번째 영작 첨삭] Today's class
Chloe
Sera
2023.11.11
5340
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] Today's class
Chloe
Sera
2023.11.11
5339
접수
[2번째 영작 첨삭] My favorite animal
Jay
-
2023.11.10
5338
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] My life in Indonesia
JIYUN
Kristel
2023.11.10
5337
완료
[32번째 영작 첨삭] dodgeball
Oliver
-
2023.11.09

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침