5/23 (1)

I wanted to know about modern history of Mongolia, I went to bookstores in two places, but they didn't have any books that I hoped originally to get. Instead, I was browsing through the history section and bought three books. One of them, which is titled The World War II at Sea, had as many as 1,023 pages, and it was heavy and thick, like the Bible. And then, we had to hurry and find some places, like a quiet cafe, because it was time to start my English class very soon.

I wanted to know about modern history of Mongolia, I went to bookstores in two places, but they didn't have any books that I hoped originally to get. Instead, I was browsing through the history section and bought three books. One of them, which is titled The World War II at Sea, had as many as 1,023 pages, and it was heavy and thick, like the Bible. And then, we had to hurry and find some places, like a quiet cafe, because it was time to start my English class very soon.
==================================================================================================================================================

Here are the corrections:

1. Original: I wanted to know about modern history of Mongolia
   Corrected: I wanted to learn about the modern history of Mongolia.
   Explanation:

   • "Learn about" is more appropriate when talking about gaining knowledge.

   • "The" is needed before “modern history” to specify a particular type of history.

2. Original: I went to bookstores in two places, but they didn't have any books that I hoped originally to get.
   Corrected: I went to two bookstores, but they didn’t have any of the books I originally hoped to find.
   Explanation:

   • "Bookstores in two places" is wordy; “two bookstores” is clearer.

   • “Hoped originally to get” is awkward; “originally hoped to find” is more natural and concise.

3. Original: Instead, I was browsing through the history section and bought three books.
   Corrected: Instead, I browsed through the history section and bought three books.
   Explanation:

   • Past simple "browsed" fits better than past continuous ("was browsing") because the action is completed.

4. Original: One of them, which is titled The World War II at Sea, had as many as 1,023 pages, and it was heavy and thick, like the Bible.
   Corrected: One of them, titled The World War II at Sea, had as many as 1,023 pages and was heavy and thick, like a Bible.
   Explanation:

   • “Which is titled” → “titled” is simpler and smoother.

   • "The Bible" → "a Bible" is better since you're referring to its physical qualities, not a specific book.

5. Original: And then, we had to hurry and find some places, like a quiet cafe, because it was time to start my English class very soon.
   Corrected: Then, we had to hurry and find a place, like a quiet café, because my English class was about to start.
   Explanation:

   • "And then" → "Then" for smoother flow.

   • "Some places" → "a place" is more accurate since you're referring to one location.

   • “It was time to start” → “was about to start” sounds more natural.

---

Final Edited Version

I wanted to learn about the modern history of Mongolia, so I went to two bookstores, but they didn’t have any of the books I originally hoped to find. Instead, I browsed through the history section and bought three books. One of them, titled The World War II at Sea, had as many as 1,023 pages and was heavy and thick, like a Bible. Then, we had to hurry and find a place, like a quiet café, because my English class was about to start.