영작교정
목록
완료

Students should choose decisions #1

I agree that students should make their own decisions for their futures. First, parents disagree letting students make decisions because they are worried that their children make bad decisions. However, to think children’s future, they will have time in the future even once making decisions. But think, is children deciding to go to the playground important or choosing what company they want to go is important?

I agree that students should make their own decisions for their futures. First, parents disagree letting students make decisions because they are worried that their children make bad decisions. However, to think children’s future, they will have time in the future even once making decisions. But think, is children deciding to go to the playground important or choosing what company they want to go is important?

___________________

 

CORRECTION:

I agree that students should make their own decisions about their futures. Parents often disagree with this idea because they worry that their children might make poor choices. However, when thinking about the future, children will eventually need to make important decisions on their own. For example, is choosing to go to the playground more important, or choosing which company to work for in the future? I believe most people would choose the second option. Just like this, there will be many important decisions children will have to make as they grow. That’s why I think it’s better for them to start practicing making small decisions now, so they can be prepared for their future.


Suggestions for better ways to say things:

 

  • Instead of: "parents disagree letting students make decisions..."
     Try: "parents often disagree with allowing their children to make decisions..."

  • Instead of: "they will have time in the future even once making decisions."
    Try: "they will eventually need to make decisions on their own in the future."

  • Instead of: "is children deciding to go to the playground important..."
    Try: "is it more important for children to decide whether to go to the playground..."


수강정보
필리핀 화상영어 주 3회 25분 4주
튜터
Edleth
교재
Debate Pro Junior 1
[주니어] 토론·토의
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
4919
완료
[54번째 영작 첨삭] My favorite animal is ~~~?
-
-
2023.07.31
4918
완료
[21번째 영작 첨삭] Delicious food
Yun
Melissa
2023.07.30
4917
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Hello teacher
clara
-
2023.07.30
4916
완료
[6번째 영작 첨삭] My favorite season.
Ryan
-
2023.07.30
4915
완료
[53번째 영작 첨삭] Some terrible thing :(
joshua
Berry
2023.07.29
4914
완료
[52번째 영작 첨삭] I ate lunch
aiden
Berry
2023.07.29
4913
완료
[5번째 영작 첨삭] My favorite book
Ryan
Cindy
2023.07.29
4912
완료
[37번째 영작 첨삭] TGV
Rachel
-
2023.07.28
4911
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] I changed my hair style
.
-
2023.07.28
4910
완료
[51번째 영작 첨삭] french class
joshua
-
2023.07.28
4909
완료
[50번째 영작 첨삭] I ate hamburger and potoas
aiden
-
2023.07.28
4908
완료
[20번째 영작 첨삭] my hobbies
Yun
Melissa
2023.07.27
4907
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] I met my sister in Seoul.
.
-
2023.07.27
4906
완료
[49번째 영작 첨삭] I took a shower.
aiden
-
2023.07.27
4905
완료
[48번째 영작 첨삭] Th cool noodle
joshua
-
2023.07.27
4904
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] My diary
Hera
Thee
2023.07.27
4903
완료
[36번째 영작 첨삭] Airbus A380
Rachel
-
2023.07.26
4902
완료
[25번째 영작 첨삭] notebook charger
Young mi
-
2023.07.26
4901
완료
[19번째 영작 첨삭] How to save money
Yun
Melissa
2023.07.26
4900
완료
[18번째 영작 첨삭] How to save money
Yun
Melissa
2023.07.26

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침