영작교정
목록
완료

Diary

It was my birthday. My husband asked for dating for birthday without my son. Back then He was in academy for 2 hours. It was also possible adding 30 minutes more this is because he have to take a shuttle bus come and go. We went to cafe have no kids. I hoped go there. since I with my son I didn't go there. I lost my necklace that I got a wedding gift from myhusband.I don't where did it go. I felt frustrated. So he bought gift me . In the evening my son brought mini cake using his pocket money's.

It was my birthday. My husband asked for dating for birthday without my son. Back then He was in academy for 2 hours. It was also possible adding 30 minutes more this is because he have to take a shuttle bus come and go. We went to cafe have no kids. I hoped go there. since I with my son I didn't go there. I lost my necklace that I got a wedding gift from myhusband.I don't where did it go. I felt frustrated. So he bought gift me . In the evening my son brought mini cake using his pocket money's.
======================================================================================================================================================

Here are the corrections:


1. Original: It was my birthday.
Corrected: It was my birthday.
Explanation: This sentence is already correct.


2. Original: My husband asked for dating for birthday without my son.
Corrected: My husband asked to go on a birthday date without our son.
Explanation: "Asked for dating" is not natural in English. We say “go on a date.” Also, “our son” sounds more natural and inclusive.


3. Original: Back then He was in academy for 2 hours.
Corrected: At that time, he was at the academy for two hours.
Explanation: “Back then” needs context, and “academy” usually means a private class in Korea—use “at the academy.” Always spell out numbers in general writing and lowercase "he."


4. Original: It was also possible adding 30 minutes more this is because he have to take a shuttle bus come and go.
Corrected: We could also add 30 more minutes because he had to take a shuttle bus to and from the academy.
Explanation: This sentence was a bit long and unclear. “He have” should be “he had,” and “come and go” is better expressed as “to and from.”


5. Original: We went to cafe have no kids.
Corrected: We went to a kid-free café.
Explanation: “Have no kids” is unnatural—“kid-free” is the right expression. Don’t forget the article “a” before “café.”


6. Original: I hoped go there.
Corrected: I had hoped to go there.
Explanation: After “hope,” use “to + verb.” Since it’s in the past, “had hoped” is appropriate.


7. Original: since I with my son I didn't go there.
Corrected: I couldn’t go there before because I was always with my son.
Explanation: This needs a subject and verb—“I was with my son.” Also, add a connector for better flow.


8. Original: I lost my necklace that I got a wedding gift from myhusband.
Corrected: I lost the necklace I got as a wedding gift from my husband.

Explanation: Use “as a gift” and fix the spacing in “myhusband” to “my husband.”


9. Original: I don't where did it go.
Corrected: I don’t know where it went.
Explanation: Use proper word order in indirect questions: “I don’t know where it went.”


10. Original: I felt frustrated.
Corrected: I felt frustrated.
Explanation: This sentence is fine.


11. Original: So he bought gift me.
Corrected: So he bought me a gift.
Explanation: Word order is incorrect—“bought me a gift” is the natural phrasing.


12. Original: In the evening my son brought mini cake using his pocket money's.
Corrected: In the evening, my son bought a mini cake with his pocket money.
Explanation: “Brought” should be “bought,” and “money’s” is incorrect—just say “pocket money.”


Final Edited Version:

It was my birthday. My husband asked to go on a birthday date without our son. At that time, our son was at the academy for two hours, and we could even add 30 more minutes since he had to take a shuttle bus to and from the academy. We went to a kid-free café that I had hoped to visit. I hadn’t been able to go before because I was always with my son. Sadly, I lost the necklace I had received as a wedding gift from my husband. I don’t know where it went, and I felt frustrated. So, my husband bought me a gift to cheer me up. In the evening, my son bought a mini cake with his pocket money.

"Happy birthday, Ms. Yoon! I hope your special day was filled with love, thoughtful surprises, and sweet moments with your family. You deserve all the happiness in the world!"

 


수강정보
필리핀 전화영어 주 2회 10분 4주
튜터
Anna
교재
New+ Get Up to Speed Situational 2
[시니어] 정규
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
5876
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] In weekend.
Hazin Kim
Berry
2024.03.18
5875
완료
[36번째 영작 첨삭] My bad habit
David
Rainbow
2024.03.18
5874
완료
[9번째 영작 첨삭] My mind
Elena
Bowen
2024.03.17
5873
완료
[91번째 영작 첨삭] Watching soccer match
Oliver
Frans
2024.03.17
5872
완료
[90번째 영작 첨삭] Noodle
Oliver
Frans
2024.03.17
5871
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] First class
김민채
Dex
2024.03.16
5870
완료
[89번째 영작 첨삭] Win the chess
Oliver
Frans
2024.03.16
5869
완료
[88번째 영작 첨삭] Forget computer lesson
Oliver
Frans
2024.03.16
5868
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] friends of new class
Liam
Eza
2024.03.15
5867
완료
[101번째 영작 첨삭] Food
Rachel
Jenica
2024.03.15
5866
완료
[41번째 영작 첨삭] How about you
doi
Anabelle
2024.03.15
5865
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] In school
권소연
Chrissie
2024.03.15
5864
완료
[12번째 영작 첨삭] 3/12~13
Min
Mary
2024.03.15
5863
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] I walked.
Hazin Kim
Berry
2024.03.15
5862
완료
[203번째 영작 첨삭] 2024.1.15
Aileen
Nana
2024.03.14
5861
완료
[202번째 영작 첨삭] 2024.1.11
Aileen
Nana
2024.03.14
5860
완료
[201번째 영작 첨삭] 2024.1.8
Aileen
Nana
2024.03.14
5859
완료
[200번째 영작 첨삭] 2024.1.4
Aileen
Nana
2024.03.14
5858
완료
[199번째 영작 첨삭] 2023.12.21
Aileen
Nana
2024.03.14
5857
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Reading books
Olivia
Shela
2024.03.14

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침