Social media sites

I think children shouldn't be allowed to use social media and here's why.
Firstly, children can get hurt because of cyber bullying. For example, when A writes bad comments to B, B will be very depressed.
Secondly, children can see bad videos such as fighting and killing videos in SNS site. So they shoulde see the videos when adult is with them or adults allowed them.

I think children shouldn't be allowed to use social media and here's why.
Firstly, children can get hurt because of cyber bullying. For example, when A writes bad comments to B, B will be very depressed.
Secondly, children can see bad videos such as fighting and killing videos in SNS site. So they shoulde see the videos when adult is with them or adults allowed them.

 

Corrected version:
I believe children shouldn’t be allowed to use social media, and here’s why.
First, children can be hurt by cyberbullying. For example, if person A writes bad comments to person B, B could become very sad or depressed.
Second, children might see harmful videos, like fighting or violent videos, on social media. They should only watch these videos with an adult present, or if an adult allows them.
Lastly, some people think social media helps children make friends, but this isn’t always true. While it’s possible to make friends, it can also lead to cyberbullying.

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Explanation of mistakes:

1. "shoulde" should be "should" (misspelling).

2. "SNS site" is more commonly referred to as "social media" or "social networking sites" for clarity.

3. "adult is with them or adults allowed them" is awkward. A better way is "only with an adult present or if an adult allows them."

4. Instead of "cause a cyber bullying", it should be "cause cyberbullying" (no article needed).

5. A few word changes for clearer meaning and flow (e.g., "children can get hurt" to "children can be hurt").