영작교정
목록
완료

Cities vs Rural areas

Children should live on rural areas because they can live in friendly environments. Rural areas has more friendly environments, but cities has more bad environment than rural areas. Because since there ‘s many factories and vehicles that makes carbon-dioxide, which is not good for environment. On the other hand, rural areas has less things that can damage the environment . This shows that, students should live on rural areas because it is important to be healthy and rural areas are perfect place for that.

Children should live on rural areas because they can live in friendly environments. Rural areas has more friendly environments, but cities has more bad environment than rural areas. Because since there ‘s many factories and vehicles that makes carbon-dioxide, which is not good for environment. On the other hand, rural areas has less things that can damage the environment . This shows that, students should live on rural areas because it is important to be healthy and rural areas are perfect place for that.

 

CORRECTION: 

Children should live in rural areas because they offer a friendlier environment. Rural areas are more peaceful and less polluted than cities. Cities have many factories and vehicles that produce carbon dioxide, which harms the environment. On the other hand, rural areas have fewer sources of pollution. This shows that students should live in rural areas, as it is important for their health, and rural areas provide a perfect environment for that.

___________________________

Here’s a shorter explanation of the corrections:

 

 

 

 

  1. "On" → "In": Use "in" for places like rural areas.

  2. "Has" → "Have": "Areas" is plural, so use "have."

  3. "More friendly" → "Friendlier": Comparative form of "friendly."

  4. "Bad environment" → "Pollution": More specific and clear.

  5. "Makes" → "Produce": More accurate for emissions.

  6. "Not good for environment" → "Harms the environment": Clearer wording.

  7. "Less things" → "Fewer sources": "Fewer" is for countable items.

  8. "Be healthy" → "For their health": More natural phrasing.

  9. "Perfect place" → "Perfect environment": More specific and clear.


수강정보
필리핀 화상영어 주 3회 25분 4주
튜터
Edleth
교재
Debate Pro Junior 1
[주니어] 토론·토의
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
6514
완료
[3번째 영작 첨삭] Hi. I’m Emily
Emily
Edleth
2024.10.15
6513
완료
[147번째 영작 첨삭] Sports
Rachel
Bel
2024.10.14
6512
접수
[9번째 영작 첨삭] Hello
Andy
Kenn
2024.10.14
6511
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] Diary
오유현
Marie
2024.10.14
6510
완료
[10번째 영작 첨삭] It's cut cat!
LEE SEOI
Janine
2024.10.14
6509
완료
[9번째 영작 첨삭] I go to the ypeopug grand parents house.
LEE SEO GYU
Bowen
2024.10.14
6508
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Hello, teacher
Isabella
K
2024.10.14
6507
완료
[7번째 영작 첨삭] teacher.!!
Peter
Ayi
2024.10.14
6506
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] Regarding speaking English 2.
Daisy
Vanesa
2024.10.14
6505
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Regarding speaking English 1.
Daisy
Vanesa
2024.10.14
6504
완료
[169번째 영작 첨삭] New book
Oliver
Frans
2024.10.13
6503
완료
[168번째 영작 첨삭] Finishing homework
Oliver
Frans
2024.10.13
6502
완료
[167번째 영작 첨삭] Playing with baby
Oliver
Frans
2024.10.13
6501
완료
[166번째 영작 첨삭] Cleaning my lizard's house
Oliver
Frans
2024.10.13
6500
완료
[52번째 영작 첨삭] A rhiritis
David
Rainbow
2024.10.13
6499
완료
[23번째 영작 첨삭] My new bike
Jemin
South
2024.10.12
6498
완료
[28번째 영작 첨삭] Amusement park
JiHu
Gresha
2024.10.12
6497
완료
[146번째 영작 첨삭] Nightmare
Rachel
Bel
2024.10.11
6496
완료
[6번째 영작 첨삭] Win the nobel prize!
Olivia
Mary
2024.10.11
6495
완료
[13번째 영작 첨삭] I don't want to write this.
kim bo min
Jeany
2024.10.11

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침