영작교정
목록
완료

Physical Education

I believe that students need physical education classes because students need to have different experience than just seating more than ten hours in school snd learning boring things.On the other hand, some people can say that schools are for studying not exercising. However, when we keep studying without any exercising our brain can be explored by all the boring informations and not be able to learn new things. From this reason I think we need P.E class and P.E class is a most important class and it shouldn’t be missed.

I believe that students need physical education classes because students need to have different experience than just seating more than ten hours in school snd learning boring things.On the other hand, some people can say that schools are for studying not exercising. However, when we keep studying without any exercising our brain can be explored by all the boring informations and not be able to learn new things. From this reason I think we need P.E class and P.E class is a most important class and it shouldn’t be missed.

 

Corrected Argument:
 
I believe that students need physical education classes because they should have different experiences than just sitting for more than ten hours in school, learning boring things. On the other hand, some people may argue that schools are for studying, not exercising. However, when we study without exercising, our brains can become overwhelmed with all the boring information, making it harder to learn new things. For this reason, I think P.E. is one of the most important classes and should never be missed.
 
___________________
 
Explanation of Corrections:
 
"seating" → "sitting": "Seating" refers to the act of providing seats, while "sitting" refers to the act of being seated.
 
"more than ten hours in school" → "sitting for more than ten hours in school": Added "sitting for" to make the sentence clearer.
 
"some people can say" → "some people may argue": "May argue" sounds more formal and appropriate in this context.
 
"brain can be explored by all the boring informations" → "our brains can become overwhelmed with all the boring information": "Explored" doesn’t fit here; "overwhelmed" better conveys the idea of being mentally burdened. Also, "informations" is incorrect; "information" is uncountable.
 
"P.E class is a most important class" → "P.E. is one of the most important classes": Rephrased for clarity and accuracy.
 

수강정보
필리핀 화상영어 주 3회 25분 4주
튜터
Edleth
교재
Debate Pro Junior 1
[주니어] 토론·토의
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
6952
완료
[229번째 영작 첨삭] Hotel
Oliver
Frans
2025.03.02
6951
완료
[228번째 영작 첨삭] Watching soccer at the stadium
Oliver
Frans
2025.03.02
6950
완료
[227번째 영작 첨삭] Watching soccer at the stadium
Oliver
Frans
2025.03.02
6949
완료
[4번째 영작 첨삭] happyest day
Jin
Gie
2025.03.01
6948
완료
[51번째 영작 첨삭] My memorable travel.
JiHu
Gresha
2025.02.28
6947
완료
[12번째 영작 첨삭] Go camping with my familiy
jung won Jo
Sera
2025.02.28
6946
완료
[13번째 영작 첨삭] Nothing special
Aaron
Heanna
2025.02.28
6945
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] sorry
Yeoni
Moona
2025.02.27
6944
완료
[6번째 영작 첨삭] The recording
강주은
Marie
2025.02.27
6943
완료
[12번째 영작 첨삭] Time is to fast
Aaron
Heanna
2025.02.26
6942
완료
[66번째 영작 첨삭] Diary
Yoon
Anna
2025.02.26
6941
완료
[53번째 영작 첨삭] 2/20
Min
Anna
2025.02.26
6940
완료
[65번째 영작 첨삭] Diary
Yoon
Anna
2025.02.25
6939
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] School Uniforms
Bombom Kim
Edleth
2025.02.24
6938
완료
[226번째 영작 첨삭] Giving mom a massage
Oliver
Frans
2025.02.24
6937
완료
[225번째 영작 첨삭] Aunt's house
Oliver
Frans
2025.02.24
6936
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] play game with friend
Terry
Joel
2025.02.24
6935
완료
[5번째 영작 첨삭] My injured lips
강주은
Marie
2025.02.23
6934
접수
[3번째 영작 첨삭] Korea Academy's Bad Side
APHA
Vanesa
2025.02.22
6933
접수
[2번째 영작 첨삭] Korea Academy's Second Good Sides
APHA
Vanesa
2025.02.22

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침