We went to my sister's new home.She got a chance to buy a new home using subscription account. It's a Korean subscription system. The government sets a price a new home so we can buy the new than cheaper than market price by subscription account. But it's hard to get a chance. It's a lottery system and very competitive. Priority are a family have alot kids and new married couple. She finally got a chance and moved in. We cograuted her and held a party at a new home.I hope she all the best.
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Here are the corrections:
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Original: We went to my sister's new home.
Corrected: (No change needed; the sentence is correct.) -
Original: She got a chance to buy a new home using subscription account.
Corrected: She had the opportunity to buy a new home using a subscription account.
Explanation: "Got a chance" is informal; "had the opportunity" sounds more natural. Also, "a subscription account" needs "a" because it refers to a specific type of account. -
Original: It's a Korean subscription system.
Corrected: (No change needed; the sentence is correct.) -
Original: The government sets a price a new home so we can buy the new than cheaper than market price by subscription account.
Corrected: The government sets the price of a new home so we can buy it at a lower price than the market price through a subscription account.
Explanation:- "sets a price a new home" → "sets the price of a new home" (Incorrect article and missing "of" for possession).
- "so we can buy the new than cheaper than market price" → "so we can buy it at a lower price than the market price" (Awkward phrasing; "it" refers to "a new home," and "lower price" is more natural than "cheaper").
- "by subscription account" → "through a subscription account" ("through" is a better preposition in this case).
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Original: But it's hard to get a chance.
Corrected: But it's hard to get one.
Explanation: "Get a chance" is repetitive since "opportunity" was used earlier. "Get one" makes the sentence smoother. -
Original: It's a lottery system and very competitive.
Corrected: It’s a lottery system and is highly competitive.
Explanation: "Very competitive" is fine, but "highly competitive" is more natural in formal writing. -
Original: Priority are a family have alot kids and new married couple.
Corrected: Priority is given to families with many children and newly married couples.
Explanation:- "Priority are" → "Priority is given to" (Incorrect verb agreement; "priority" is singular, and "is given to" is the correct phrasing).
- "a family have alot kids" → "families with many children" (Incorrect singular/plural usage and "a lot" should be written separately).
- "new married couple" → "newly married couples" ("Newly married" is the correct phrase, and "couples" should be plural).
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Original: She finally got a chance and moved in.
Corrected: (No change needed; the sentence is correct.) -
Original: We cograuted her and held a party at a new home.
Corrected: We congratulated her and held a party at her new home.
Explanation:- "cograuted" → "congratulated" (Spelling mistake).
- "at a new home" → "at her new home" (Since it's her house, "her" is needed instead of "a").
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Original: I hope she all the best.
Corrected: I wish her all the best.
Explanation: "Hope" is not used this way. "I wish her all the best" is the correct phrase.
Final Text:
We went to my sister's new home. She had the opportunity to buy a new home using a subscription account. It's a Korean subscription system. The government sets the price of a new home so we can buy it at a lower price than the market price through a subscription account. But it's hard to get one. It's a lottery system and is highly competitive. Priority is given to families with many children and newly married couples.
She finally got a chance and moved in. We congratulated her and held a party at her new home. I wish her all the best.
