영작교정
목록
완료

Diary

When I went to at work I didn't compete to the other. To play as best as I can I had to practice as more as I can. Absolutely all most of people will to do too. But I felt stressed out. Our performance skill appear immediately if it is good or bad in front of another member. Folling result we move in seat to play and some artist has territorial. So I lost confidence if I will able to do it or not. I used to lesson to kids for earn a money. So to quite a there was not regret.

When I went to at work I didn't compete to the other. To play as best as I can I had to practice as more as I can. Absolutely all most of people will to do too. But I felt stressed out. Our performance skill appear immediately if it is good or bad in front of another member. Folling result we move in seat to play and some artist has territorial. So I lost confidence if I will able to do it or not. I used to lesson to kids for earn a money. So to quite a there was not regret.
=====================================================================================================================================================

Here are the corrections:

  1. Original: When I went to at work I didn't compete to the other.
    Corrected: When I went to work, I didn’t compete with others.
    Explanation:

    • "Went to at work" → "Went to work" (Remove "at"; "go to work" is the correct phrase.)
    • "Compete to" → "Compete with" (The correct preposition is "with" after "compete.")
    • "The other" → "Others" (Use "others" when referring to people in general.)
  2. Original: To play as best as I can I had to practice as more as I can.
    Corrected: To perform at my best, I had to practice as much as possible.
    Explanation:

    • "Play as best as I can" → "Perform at my best" (More natural phrasing.)
    • "Practice as more as I can" → "Practice as much as possible" ("More" is incorrect; "as much as possible" is correct.)
  3. Original: Absolutely all most of people will to do too.
    Corrected: Almost all people will do the same.
    Explanation:

    • "Absolutely all most of people" → "Almost all people" ("Almost all" is correct; "absolutely all most" is incorrect.)
    • "Will to do too" → "Will do the same" ("Will" should not be followed by "to"; use "will do.")
  4. Original: But I felt stressed out.
    Corrected: However, I felt stressed.
    Explanation:

    • "But" → "However," (In formal writing, "However" is preferred.)
    • "Stressed out" → "Stressed" ("Stressed out" is informal; "stressed" is more natural here.)
  5. Original: Our performance skill appear immediately if it is good or bad in front of another member.
    Corrected: Our performance skills were immediately visible to other members, whether good or bad.
    Explanation:

    • "Performance skill" → "Performance skills" (Use plural "skills.")
    • "Appear" → "Were immediately visible" ("Appear" is incorrect in this context; "were visible" fits better.)
    • "In front of another member" → "To other members" (More natural phrasing.)
  6. Original: Folling result we move in seat to play and some artist has territorial.
    Corrected: Depending on the results, we changed seats to play, and some artists were territorial.
    Explanation:

    • "Folling result" → "Depending on the results" ("Folling" is incorrect; "depending on the results" is the correct phrase.)
    • "We move in seat" → "We changed seats" ("Move in seat" is unnatural; "changed seats" is correct.)
    • "Some artist has territorial" → "Some artists were territorial" ("Has territorial" is incorrect; "were territorial" is correct.)
  7. Original: So I lost confidence if I will able to do it or not.
    Corrected: So I lost confidence in whether I would be able to do it or not.
    Explanation:

    • "If I will able" → "Whether I would be able" (Use "whether" instead of "if" and "would be able" instead of "will able.")
  8. Original: I used to lesson to kids for earn a money.
    Corrected: I used to give lessons to kids to earn money.
    Explanation:

    • "Lesson to kids" → "Give lessons to kids" (The correct verb is "give lessons.")
    • "For earn a money" → "To earn money" ("For" is incorrect; "to earn" is correct. "A money" is incorrect; just say "money.")
  9. Original: So to quite a there was not regret.
    Corrected: So quitting there was not a regret.
    Explanation:

    • "To quite a" → "Quitting" ("Quite" is incorrect; the correct verb form is "quitting.")
    • "There was not regret" → "There was not a regret" (Use "a regret" for correct grammar.)

Final Edited Version:

When I went to work, I didn’t compete with others. To perform at my best, I had to practice as much as possible. Almost all people would do the same. However, I felt stressed.

Our performance skills were immediately visible to other members, whether good or bad. Depending on the results, we changed seats to play, and some artists were territorial.

So I lost confidence in whether I would be able to do it or not. I used to give lessons to kids to earn money. So quitting there was not a regret.


수강정보
필리핀 전화영어 주 2회 10분 4주
튜터
Anna
교재
New+ Get Up to Speed Situational 2
[시니어] 정규
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
5936
완료
[5번째 영작 첨삭] I listen to playing the piano.
Hazin Kim
Berry
2024.04.11
5935
완료
[11번째 영작 첨삭] My Family's Jobs
이상원
Gail
2024.04.11
5934
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Nice to meet you, Melissa:-)
최은정
Melissa
2024.04.10
5933
완료
[46번째 영작 첨삭] play with...
doi
Anabelle
2024.04.10
5932
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] fever and cold
cindy
Roselle
2024.04.10
5931
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] second class
원정민
Chinnee
2024.04.09
5930
완료
[106번째 영작 첨삭] Bullying
Rachel
Jenica
2024.04.08
5929
완료
[45번째 영작 첨삭] For a long time!
doi
Anabelle
2024.04.08
5928
완료
[101번째 영작 첨삭] Playing soccer with my dad
Oliver
Frans
2024.04.07
5927
완료
[100번째 영작 첨삭] Playing with my friend
Oliver
Frans
2024.04.07
5926
완료
[99번째 영작 첨삭] Watching soccer match
Oliver
Frans
2024.04.07
5925
완료
[98번째 영작 첨삭] English class
Oliver
Frans
2024.04.07
5924
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Dear 00
Juyoung Lee
Alice
2024.04.07
5923
완료
[6번째 영작 첨삭] Festival
권소연
Chrissie
2024.04.06
5922
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] I met Krizzy.
Amiee
Krizzy
2024.04.05
5921
완료
[105번째 영작 첨삭] Cheater
Rachel
Jenica
2024.04.05
5920
완료
[4번째 영작 첨삭] Chinese spicy stew, malatang
Hazin Kim
Berry
2024.04.05
5919
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] My first class with jinny
원정민
Chinnee
2024.04.04
5918
완료
[5번째 영작 첨삭] Cherry Blossoms
권소연
Chrissie
2024.04.04
5917
완료
[8번째 영작 첨삭] first class
JiHu
Gresha
2024.04.03

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침