영작교정
목록
완료

Diary

When I went to at work I didn't compete to the other. To play as best as I can I had to practice as more as I can. Absolutely all most of people will to do too. But I felt stressed out. Our performance skill appear immediately if it is good or bad in front of another member. Folling result we move in seat to play and some artist has territorial. So I lost confidence if I will able to do it or not. I used to lesson to kids for earn a money. So to quite a there was not regret.

When I went to at work I didn't compete to the other. To play as best as I can I had to practice as more as I can. Absolutely all most of people will to do too. But I felt stressed out. Our performance skill appear immediately if it is good or bad in front of another member. Folling result we move in seat to play and some artist has territorial. So I lost confidence if I will able to do it or not. I used to lesson to kids for earn a money. So to quite a there was not regret.
=====================================================================================================================================================

Here are the corrections:

  1. Original: When I went to at work I didn't compete to the other.
    Corrected: When I went to work, I didn’t compete with others.
    Explanation:

    • "Went to at work" → "Went to work" (Remove "at"; "go to work" is the correct phrase.)
    • "Compete to" → "Compete with" (The correct preposition is "with" after "compete.")
    • "The other" → "Others" (Use "others" when referring to people in general.)
  2. Original: To play as best as I can I had to practice as more as I can.
    Corrected: To perform at my best, I had to practice as much as possible.
    Explanation:

    • "Play as best as I can" → "Perform at my best" (More natural phrasing.)
    • "Practice as more as I can" → "Practice as much as possible" ("More" is incorrect; "as much as possible" is correct.)
  3. Original: Absolutely all most of people will to do too.
    Corrected: Almost all people will do the same.
    Explanation:

    • "Absolutely all most of people" → "Almost all people" ("Almost all" is correct; "absolutely all most" is incorrect.)
    • "Will to do too" → "Will do the same" ("Will" should not be followed by "to"; use "will do.")
  4. Original: But I felt stressed out.
    Corrected: However, I felt stressed.
    Explanation:

    • "But" → "However," (In formal writing, "However" is preferred.)
    • "Stressed out" → "Stressed" ("Stressed out" is informal; "stressed" is more natural here.)
  5. Original: Our performance skill appear immediately if it is good or bad in front of another member.
    Corrected: Our performance skills were immediately visible to other members, whether good or bad.
    Explanation:

    • "Performance skill" → "Performance skills" (Use plural "skills.")
    • "Appear" → "Were immediately visible" ("Appear" is incorrect in this context; "were visible" fits better.)
    • "In front of another member" → "To other members" (More natural phrasing.)
  6. Original: Folling result we move in seat to play and some artist has territorial.
    Corrected: Depending on the results, we changed seats to play, and some artists were territorial.
    Explanation:

    • "Folling result" → "Depending on the results" ("Folling" is incorrect; "depending on the results" is the correct phrase.)
    • "We move in seat" → "We changed seats" ("Move in seat" is unnatural; "changed seats" is correct.)
    • "Some artist has territorial" → "Some artists were territorial" ("Has territorial" is incorrect; "were territorial" is correct.)
  7. Original: So I lost confidence if I will able to do it or not.
    Corrected: So I lost confidence in whether I would be able to do it or not.
    Explanation:

    • "If I will able" → "Whether I would be able" (Use "whether" instead of "if" and "would be able" instead of "will able.")
  8. Original: I used to lesson to kids for earn a money.
    Corrected: I used to give lessons to kids to earn money.
    Explanation:

    • "Lesson to kids" → "Give lessons to kids" (The correct verb is "give lessons.")
    • "For earn a money" → "To earn money" ("For" is incorrect; "to earn" is correct. "A money" is incorrect; just say "money.")
  9. Original: So to quite a there was not regret.
    Corrected: So quitting there was not a regret.
    Explanation:

    • "To quite a" → "Quitting" ("Quite" is incorrect; the correct verb form is "quitting.")
    • "There was not regret" → "There was not a regret" (Use "a regret" for correct grammar.)

Final Edited Version:

When I went to work, I didn’t compete with others. To perform at my best, I had to practice as much as possible. Almost all people would do the same. However, I felt stressed.

Our performance skills were immediately visible to other members, whether good or bad. Depending on the results, we changed seats to play, and some artists were territorial.

So I lost confidence in whether I would be able to do it or not. I used to give lessons to kids to earn money. So quitting there was not a regret.


수강정보
필리핀 전화영어 주 2회 10분 4주
튜터
Anna
교재
New+ Get Up to Speed Situational 2
[시니어] 정규
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
5119
완료
[18번째 영작 첨삭] Really lots of bugs
Oliver
-
2023.09.16
5118
완료
[37번째 영작 첨삭] Magic Class
Richard
Jana
2023.09.15
5117
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] frist english cless.
Linda
Lenny
2023.09.15
5116
완료
[17번째 영작 첨삭] performance
Oliver
-
2023.09.15
5115
완료
[20번째 영작 첨삭] she needs treatment
Suzy Jang
Zil
2023.09.15
5114
완료
[19번째 영작 첨삭] New York was a wonderful place
Suzy Jang
Joanie
2023.09.15
5113
완료
[36번째 영작 첨삭] 2 Tests
Richard
Jana
2023.09.14
5112
완료
[7번째 영작 첨삭] Hello , Joyce
wisdom
Joyce
2023.09.14
5111
완료
[19번째 영작 첨삭] At work
Yoon
Anna
2023.09.14
5110
완료
[50번째 영작 첨삭] Party
Rachel
Tessa%
2023.09.13
5109
완료
[150번째 영작 첨삭] 2023.09.12 diary
Aileen
Rose
2023.09.12
5108
완료
[41번째 영작 첨삭] funny
Christina
Mary Grace
2023.09.12
5107
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] Hello, I'm Estelle.
Estelle
-
2023.09.12
5106
완료
[35번째 영작 첨삭] School lunch
Richard
Jana
2023.09.12
5105
완료
[3번째 영작 첨삭] A violet
teresa
Anna
2023.09.12
5104
완료
[22번째 영작 첨삭] Diary
sopia
Pia
2023.09.12
5103
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] when Im tired
Lauren
Cindy
2023.09.12
5102
완료
[49번째 영작 첨삭] Cake
Rachel
Tessa%
2023.09.11
5101
완료
[15번째 영작 첨삭] Food
David
Flei
2023.09.11
5100
완료
[29번째 영작 첨삭] Ian reborn
jung ha youn
Yumi
2023.09.10

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침