영작교정
목록
완료

2/18

Last Monday, my mom applied online for the exam. However, the office called with a document problem the next day. They requested re-registration, saying that starting this year, they will only accept the prescribed format. My mom called the school I went to right away. We didn't expect that we would have to go to school three times. For that reason, I took my phone English class at the school's playground.

Last Monday, my mom applied online for the exam. However, the office called with a document problem the next day. They requested re-registration, saying that starting this year, they will only accept the prescribed format. My mom called the school I went to right away. We didn't expect that we would have to go to school three times. For that reason, I took my phone English class at the school's playground.
==================================================================================================================================

Here are the corrections:
 

  1. Original: Last Monday, my mom applied online for the exam.
    Corrected: Last Monday, my mom applied for the exam online.
    Explanation: "Applied for the exam online" is the correct word order. The verb apply for takes the object "the exam," and "online" should come after to clarify the method.

  2. Original: However, the office called with a document problem the next day.
    Corrected: However, the office called the next day about a document issue.
    Explanation: "With a document problem" is unnatural. "About a document issue" is more appropriate because issue sounds more formal and professional in this context.

  3. Original: They requested re-registration, saying that starting this year, they will only accept the prescribed format.
    Corrected: They requested re-registration, stating that, starting this year, they would only accept the prescribed format.
    Explanation: "Saying" is too informal; "stating" is a better choice in a formal or official context. "Will" should be changed to would because the sentence is referring to a statement made in the past.

  4. Original: My mom called the school I went to right away.
    Corrected: My mom immediately called the school I attended.
    Explanation: "Right away" is correct but "immediately" sounds more natural in formal writing. "Went to" is informal; "attended" is more precise.

  5. Original: We didn't expect that we would have to go to school three times.
    Corrected: We didn’t expect to have to visit the school three times.
    Explanation: "Go to school" is correct but "visit the school" is a better fit here, as it emphasizes multiple visits rather than just attending.

  6. Original: For that reason, I took my phone English class at the school's playground.
    Corrected: Because of that, I took my phone English class in the school playground.
    Explanation: "For that reason" is grammatically correct but a bit formal for this sentence. "Because of that" sounds more natural. Also, "at the school's playground" should be "in the school playground" because "in" is used when referring to a defined enclosed area.


Revised Text:

Last Monday, my mom applied for the exam online. However, the office called the next day about a document issue. They requested re-registration, stating that, starting this year, they would only accept the prescribed format.

My mom immediately called the school I attended. We didn’t expect to have to visit the school three times. Because of that, I took my phone English class in the school playground.


수강정보
필리핀 전화영어 주 2회 10분 24주
튜터
Anna
교재
Hand in Hand 4
[주니어] 정규
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
6536
완료
[12번째 영작 첨삭] Happy birthday my grandmother
LEE SEOI
Janine
2024.10.21
6535
완료
[11번째 영작 첨삭] My grandmother birthday!
LEE SEO GYU
Bowen
2024.10.21
6534
완료
[17번째 영작 첨삭] playground
LEN
Queen
2024.10.21
6533
완료
[25번째 영작 첨삭] India clothes
유미
Janine
2024.10.21
6532
완료
[43번째 영작 첨삭] 10/5
Min
Anna
2024.10.21
6531
완료
[42번째 영작 첨삭] 10/4, 5
Min
Anna
2024.10.21
6530
완료
[41번째 영작 첨삭] 10/4
Min
Anna
2024.10.21
6529
완료
[31번째 영작 첨삭] How to be a good student
JiHu
Gresha
2024.10.20
6528
완료
[173번째 영작 첨삭] Cleaning
Oliver
Frans
2024.10.20
6527
완료
[172번째 영작 첨삭] Playing with friends
Oliver
Frans
2024.10.20
6526
완료
[171번째 영작 첨삭] Eat Yeuptteok
Oliver
Frans
2024.10.20
6525
완료
[170번째 영작 첨삭] Playing with aunt's daughter
Oliver
Frans
2024.10.20
6524
완료
[30번째 영작 첨삭] If I had the superpowers
JiHu
Gresha
2024.10.19
6523
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Thank you. Jeany
Lee Mun Gyeom
Jeany
2024.10.18
6522
완료
[14번째 영작 첨삭] My Birthday.
kim bo min
Jeany
2024.10.17
6521
완료
[148번째 영작 첨삭] Anime and comic
Rachel
Bel
2024.10.16
6520
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] writing 1. Very Big House (made of Henry)
Henry
Sydelle
2024.10.16
6519
완료
[7번째 영작 첨삭] Emily in Paris
Olivia
Mary
2024.10.16
6518
완료
[24번째 영작 첨삭] Spending a vacation
유미
Janine
2024.10.16
6517
완료
[42번째 영작 첨삭] Diary
Yoon
Anna
2024.10.16

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침