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There were many things that were required to take the national exam for elementary school graduation. Two days ago, it snowed all day. My mom and I went to the 3 banks and the community center. The next day we visited the elementary school where I attended. But the person in charge of documents was on vacation. It wasn't until the next afternoon that I was able to receive the school documents. Now I am all ready to apply online next week, and I have to study hard for the exam.

There were many things that were required to take the national exam for elementary school graduation. Two days ago, it snowed all day. My mom and I went to the 3 banks and the community center. The next day we visited the elementary school where I attended. But the person in charge of documents was on vacation. It wasn't until the next afternoon that I was able to receive the school documents. Now I am all ready to apply online next week, and I have to study hard for the exam.
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Here are the corrections:

  1. Original: There were many things that were required to take the national exam for elementary school graduation.
    Corrected: There were many requirements for taking the national exam for elementary school graduation.
    Explanation: "Things that were required" is wordy and unnatural. "Requirements" is a more concise and appropriate term. "To take" was changed to "for taking" to improve readability.

  2. Original: Two days ago, it snowed all day.
    Corrected: ✔ (No correction needed)
    Explanation: This sentence is grammatically correct.

  3. Original: My mom and I went to the 3 banks and the community center.
    Corrected: My mom and I went to three banks and the community center.
    Explanation: Numbers below 10 should generally be written in words in formal writing.

  4. Original: The next day we visited the elementary school where I attended.
    Corrected: The next day, we visited the elementary school I attended.
    Explanation: "Where I attended" is incorrect because "attended" already implies a place. "The elementary school I attended" is correct. Also, a comma is needed after "The next day" for better readability.

  5. Original: But the person in charge of documents was on vacation.
    Corrected: However, the person in charge of handling documents was on vacation.
    Explanation: "But" at the beginning of a sentence is too informal. "However" is a better choice. "In charge of documents" sounds unnatural; "in charge of handling documents" is clearer.

  6. Original: It wasn't until the next afternoon that I was able to receive the school documents.
    Corrected: ✔ (No correction needed)
    Explanation: This sentence is already correct and clear.

  7. Original: Now I am all ready to apply online next week, and I have to study hard for the exam.
    Corrected: Now, I am fully prepared to apply online next week, and I need to study hard for the exam.
    Explanation: "All ready" is not incorrect, but "fully prepared" sounds more natural in a formal context. "Have to" was changed to "need to" for a slightly more formal tone.


Revised Text

There were many requirements for taking the national exam for elementary school graduation. Two days ago, it snowed all day. My mom and I went to three banks and the community center. The next day, we visited the elementary school I attended. However, the person in charge of handling documents was on vacation. It wasn't until the next afternoon that I was able to receive the school documents. Now, I am fully prepared to apply online next week, and I need to study hard for the exam.


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