영작교정
목록
완료

Body's function to protect us.

Food stretches the stomach's walls, triggering nerves that send signals to the brain. And hormones make us feel hunger and fullness. Therefore we can select if we eat more. I thought body structure can help us to notice if we are full and to prevent us eat more is very intersting. And I want to know another body's function to protect us.

Food stretches the stomach walls, triggering nerves that send signals to the brain. Hormones also play a role in making us feel hunger and fullness, allowing us to decide whether to eat more. I find it very interesting that our body’s structure helps us recognize when we are full and prevents us from overeating. I would love to learn more about other bodily functions that protect us.

 

  1. stomach's walls" → "stomach walls"

    • The possessive form is unnecessary here. "Stomach walls" is a more natural way to phrase it.
  2. "And hormones make us feel hunger and fullness." → "Hormones also play a role in making us feel hunger and fullness."

    • Removed "And" to improve flow.
    • Reworded for clarity and smoother transition.
  3. "Therefore we can select if we eat more." → "allowing us to decide whether to eat more."

    • "Select" is not the correct word choice in this context.
    • "Decide whether to" sounds more natural.
  4. "I thought body structure can help us to notice if we are full and to prevent us eat more is very intersting." → "I find it very interesting that our body’s structure helps us recognize when we are full and prevents us from overeating."

    • Changed "I thought" to "I find it very interesting" for better expression.
    • Changed "can help us to notice" to "helps us recognize" for smoother readability.
    • Changed "prevent us eat more" to "prevents us from overeating" (corrected grammar).
    • Fixed spelling of "intersting" → "interesting."
  5. "And I want to know another body's function to protect us." → "I would love to learn more about other bodily functions that protect us."

    • Removed "And" for better sentence flow.
    • Changed "another body's function" to "other bodily functions" for grammatical correctness and clarity.
    • Changed "I want to know" to "I would love to learn more about" for a more natural tone.

수강정보
필리핀 화상영어 주 3회 25분 24주
튜터
K
교재
Teen Talk 1
[주니어] 프리토킹
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
6454
완료
[23번째 영작 첨삭] Happy journey
유미
Janine
2024.09.27
6453
완료
[22번째 영작 첨삭] My sleep time
Jemin
South
2024.09.26
6452
완료
[27번째 영작 첨삭] A my birthday party.
JiHu
Gresha
2024.09.26
6451
완료
[3번째 영작 첨삭] class
SOYOON
Pia
2024.09.26
6450
완료
[144번째 영작 첨삭] Friends
Rachel
Bel
2024.09.25
6449
완료
[4번째 영작 첨삭] Today is my very very happy today
LEE SEO GYU
Bowen
2024.09.25
6448
완료
[3번째 영작 첨삭] Taiwan travel
LEE SEOI
Janine
2024.09.25
6447
완료
[37번째 영작 첨삭] 9/20
Min
Anna
2024.09.25
6446
완료
[36번째 영작 첨삭] 9/17
Min
Anna
2024.09.25
6445
완료
[21번째 영작 첨삭] I'm went to Yangjae river.
Jemin
South
2024.09.24
6444
완료
[22번째 영작 첨삭] Visit
유미
Janine
2024.09.24
6443
완료
[143번째 영작 첨삭] Stress
Rachel
Bel
2024.09.23
6442
완료
[171번째 영작 첨삭] baseball
Aiden
Aya
2024.09.23
6441
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] science museum
LEE SEO GYU
Bowen
2024.09.22
6440
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Happy weekend
LEE SEO GYU
Bowen
2024.09.22
6439
완료
[6번째 영작 첨삭] My Favorite Television Show
John
Franz
2024.09.22
6438
완료
[13번째 영작 첨삭] Going to a cave♡
wendy
MJ
2024.09.21
6437
완료
[5번째 영작 첨삭] My hardest Subject
John
Franz
2024.09.21
6436
완료
[4번째 영작 첨삭] My Hardest Subject
John
Franz
2024.09.21
6435
완료
[49번째 영작 첨삭] Movie
David
Rainbow
2024.09.21

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침