영작교정
목록
완료

Diary

Yesterday, suddenly my mom called at me. My mom usually works in Korean museum every Sunday for her job. She is a commentator. it snowed again .So some roads was slipperyed to walk. She fell on her butt and she' s hit her hands on the icy road around there. Fortunately I was in nearby there. So I picked her up and went to hospital. Luckily she just got to wear a cast for her finger.It was just fingers ligament sprain. We felt relieved. I thought she gained bone fracture. I worried about her.

Yesterday, suddenly my mom called at me. My mom usually works in Korean museum every Sunday for her job. She is a commentator. it snowed again .So some roads was slipperyed to walk. She fell on her butt and she' s hit her hands on the icy road around there. Fortunately I was in nearby there. So I picked her up and went to hospital. Luckily she just got to wear a cast for her finger.It was just fingers ligament sprain. We felt relieved. I thought she gained bone fracture. I worried about her.
==================================================================================================================================

Here are the corrections:

  1. Original: Yesterday, suddenly my mom called at me.
    Corrected: Yesterday, my mom suddenly called me.
    Explanation: "Call at" is incorrect. We say "call someone" instead of "call at someone."

  2. Original: My mom usually works in Korean museum every Sunday for her job.
    Corrected: My mom usually works at a Korean museum every Sunday for her job.
    Explanation: We use "at" when referring to locations (e.g., "at a museum"), and "a" is needed before "Korean museum" since it's not referring to a specific museum.

  3. Original: She is a commentator.
    Corrected: She is a commentator.
    Explanation: This sentence is already correct.

  4. Original: it snowed again .So some roads was slipperyed to walk.
    Corrected: It snowed again, so some roads were slippery to walk on.
    Explanation: The first letter of the sentence should be capitalized ("It"). "Was" should be changed to "were" because "roads" is plural. "Slipperied" is not correct; the correct adjective is "slippery." Also, "to walk" should be followed by "on" for clarity.

  5. Original: She fell on her butt and she' s hit her hands on the icy road around there.
    Corrected: She fell on her butt and hit her hands on the icy road.
    Explanation: "She' s" should be "hit" for past tense consistency. "Around there" is unnecessary; "on the icy road" is enough to describe the location.

  6. Original: Fortunately I was in nearby there.
    Corrected: Fortunately, I was nearby.
    Explanation: "Nearby there" is redundant. "Nearby" alone works better.

  7. Original: So I picked her up and went to hospital.
    Corrected: So, I picked her up and went to the hospital.
    Explanation: "Hospital" needs the definite article "the" when referring to a specific place.

  8. Original: Luckily she just got to wear a cast for her finger.It was just fingers ligament sprain.
    Corrected: Luckily, she only had to wear a cast on her finger. It was just a ligament sprain in her finger.
    Explanation: "Got to wear" is awkward; "had to wear" is more natural. "For her finger" is corrected to "on her finger" to indicate where the cast was. "Just fingers ligament sprain" should be "a ligament sprain in her finger" for clarity and correct phrasing.

  9. Original: We felt relieved.
    Corrected: We felt relieved.
    Explanation: This sentence is correct.

  10. Original: I thought she gained bone fracture.
    Corrected: I thought she had a bone fracture.
    Explanation: "Gained" is incorrect in this context. We say "had a bone fracture" when referring to an injury.

  11. Original: I worried about her.
    Corrected: I was worried about her.
    Explanation: The correct tense here is the past continuous "was worried" to express an ongoing feeling.


Final Edited Text:

Yesterday, my mom suddenly called me. My mom usually works at a Korean museum every Sunday for her job. She is a commentator. It snowed again, so some roads were slippery to walk on. She fell on her butt and hit her hands on the icy road. Fortunately, I was nearby. So, I picked her up and went to the hospital. Luckily, she only had to wear a cast on her finger. It was just a ligament sprain in her finger. We felt relieved. I thought she had a bone fracture. I was worried about her.


Key Improvements:

  1. Adjusted article use (e.g., "at a Korean museum," "to the hospital").
  2. Corrected past tense and verb forms (e.g., "hit" instead of "she's hit").
  3. Streamlined some phrases for better flow and clarity (e.g., "only had to wear a cast" instead of "just got to wear a cast").
  4. Improved word choices (e.g., "ligament sprain in her finger" instead of "fingers ligament sprain").

Keep up the good work! You're improving your sentence structure and grammar steadily. Just focus on consistent tense usage and article placement, and you'll continue to sound more natural in your writing. 😊


수강정보
필리핀 전화영어 주 2회 10분 4주
튜터
Anna
교재
New+ Get Up to Speed Situational 2
[시니어] 정규
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
7094
완료
[12번째 영작 첨삭] homework >_<
Liam
Shyla
2025.04.30
7093
완료
[5번째 영작 첨삭] I'm sorry.
Yeoni
Edleth
2025.04.30
7092
완료
[83번째 영작 첨삭] Diary
Yoon
Anna
2025.04.30
7091
완료
[13번째 영작 첨삭] I play with my friend
ella
Mischa
2025.04.29
7090
완료
[82번째 영작 첨삭] Diary
Yoon
Anna
2025.04.29
7089
완료
[11번째 영작 첨삭] homework 777
Liam
Shyla
2025.04.28
7088
완료
[12번째 영작 첨삭] Happy day
YERIN
Shang
2025.04.27
7087
완료
[8번째 영작 첨삭] Library events
Joe
Dom
2025.04.25
7086
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] My hobby
Soobhin Lee
Chai
2025.04.24
7085
완료
[4번째 영작 첨삭] Good morning Edleth.
Yeoni
Edleth
2025.04.24
7084
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] 40-minute lunch break is enough
Daniella
Nana
2025.04.23
7083
완료
[20번째 영작 첨삭] Chill guy
전시형
Heanna
2025.04.23
7082
완료
[10번째 영작 첨삭] liamyoo
Liam
Shyla
2025.04.23
7081
완료
[81번째 영작 첨삭] Diary
Yoon
Anna
2025.04.23
7080
완료
[70번째 영작 첨삭] My strength
David
Geli
2025.04.22
7079
완료
[12번째 영작 첨삭] Run is very hard!
ella
Mischa
2025.04.21
7078
완료
[9번째 영작 첨삭] homework
Liam
Shyla
2025.04.21
7077
완료
[8번째 영작 첨삭] homework
Liam
Shyla
2025.04.21
7076
완료
[7번째 영작 첨삭] A magazine I enjoy reading
강주은
Edleth
2025.04.21
7075
완료
[11번째 영작 첨삭] camping
YERIN
Shang
2025.04.20

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침