Diary

We went to JeJu.Before we leave, it was a heavy snow in korea.we couldn't take a plane. But except some area,it was okay to taking a public transportation. When we landed to JeJu, no more snowed and rained. After ancestor's service and New year'bow to older, we traveled here and there during holidays. We enjoyed anywhere sunshine sea view.After bow ,receives money gift from older. It's korea culture. My son is almost younger.So all of family give him love and he received a lot money.

We went to JeJu.Before we leave, it was a heavy snow in korea.we couldn't take a plane. But except some area,it was okay to taking a public transportation. When we landed to JeJu, no more snowed and rained. After ancestor's service and New year'bow to older, we traveled here and there during holidays. We enjoyed anywhere sunshine sea view.After bow ,receives money gift from older. It's korea culture. My son is almost younger.So all of family give him love and he received a lot money.
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HERE ARE THE CORRECTIONS:

1. We went to JeJu.Before we leave, it was a heavy snow in korea.

   • Error: "Before we leave" (wrong tense) → should be "Before we left" (past tense to match the context)
   • Error: "it was a heavy snow" → "snow" is uncountable, so "heavy snow" does not need "a"
   • Error: "korea" → should be capitalized as "Korea"
   • Corrected: We went to Jeju. Before we left, there was heavy snow in Korea.

2. we couldn't take a plane.

   • Error: Sentence should start with a capital letter
   • Corrected: We couldn't take a plane.

3. But except some area,it was okay to taking a public transportation.

   • Error: "except some area" → should be "except in some areas" (correct preposition and plural form)
   • Error: "to taking" → should be "to take" (infinitive form after "okay to")
   • Error: "a public transportation" → "transportation" is uncountable, so "a" is unnecessary
   • Corrected: But except in some areas, it was okay to take public transportation.

4. When we landed to JeJu, no more snowed and rained.

   • Error: "landed to" → should be "landed in" (correct preposition)
   • Error: "no more snowed and rained" → incorrect verb usage. "Snowed" and "rained" should be nouns in this case, or reworded.
   • Corrected: When we landed in Jeju, it was no longer snowing or raining.

5. After ancestor's service and New year'bow to older, we traveled here and there during holidays.

   • Error: "ancestor’s service" → should be "ancestor memorial service" (more natural expression)
   • Error: "New year'bow" → should be "New Year's bow" (correct possessive form)
   • Error: "to older" → should be "to elders" (more natural phrasing)
   • Corrected: After the ancestor memorial service and New Year's bow to the elders, we traveled to different places during the holidays.

6. We enjoyed anywhere sunshine sea view.

   • Error: "anywhere sunshine sea view" → awkward phrasing. Should specify "enjoyed the sunshine and sea view everywhere."
   • Corrected: We enjoyed the sunshine and sea view everywhere.

7. After bow, receives money gift from older. It's korea culture.

   • Error: "After bow" → should be "After bowing" (verb should be in gerund form)
   • Error: "receives money gift" → incorrect verb form and word order. Should be "we received money as a gift."
   • Error: "from older" → should be "from elders" (more natural phrasing)
   • Error: "It's korea culture" → should be "It's Korean culture." (capitalization and grammar)
   • Corrected: After bowing, we received money as a gift from elders. It's a part of Korean culture.

8. My son is almost younger.So all of family give him love and he received a lot money.

   • Error: "almost younger" → unclear meaning. Possibly meant "the youngest."
   • Error: "So all of family give him love" → should be "So all of our family gave him love" (correct subject and past tense)
   • Error: "he received a lot money" → should be "he received a lot of money" (correct phrase)
   • Corrected: My son is the youngest, so all of our family gave him love, and he received a lot of money.

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Final Edited Version

We went to Jeju. Before we left, there was heavy snow in Korea, so we couldn't take a plane. But except in some areas, it was okay to take public transportation. When we landed in Jeju, it was no longer snowing or raining.

After the ancestor memorial service and New Year's bow to the elders, we traveled to different places during the holidays. We enjoyed the sunshine and sea view everywhere.

After bowing, we received money as a gift from elders. It's a part of Korean culture. My son is the youngest, so all of our family gave him love, and he received a lot of money.