영작교정
목록
완료

Diary

It comes New year. In korea it celebrates
the Lunnar year's day. But we don't enough time due to law-memorial sevice. So my family with my parents and sister do celebrate the solar years day. I wish my parent' s healthy life and my older sister who don't get married, can be married soon. Usually older children give some money to parents. It's like korean manner in holidays. I've set a goal to improve my English do exercise constantly, do not nag my son. I will try to keep resolutions.

It comes New year. In korea it celebrates
the Lunnar year's day. But we don't enough time due to law-memorial sevice. So my family with my parents and sister do celebrate the solar years day. I wish my parent' s healthy life and my older sister who don't get married, can be married soon. Usually older children give some money to parents. It's like korean manner in holidays. I've set a goal to improve my English do exercise constantly, do not nag my son. I will try to keep resolutions.
===================================================================================================================================

HERE ARE THE CORRECTIONS:

  1. Original: It comes New year.
    Explanation: This is an awkward way to express the arrival of the New Year. "It comes" is not natural in this context.
    Corrected: The New Year has arrived.

  2. Original: In korea it celebrates the Lunnar year's day.
    Explanation: "Korea" should be capitalized as it is a proper noun. "It celebrates" is incorrect since the subject should refer to people, not a country. "Lunnar" is a misspelling of "Lunar."
    Corrected: In Korea, people celebrate the Lunar New Year.

  3. Original: But we don't enough time due to law-memorial sevice.
    Explanation: "Don't" needs an auxiliary verb for proper grammar ("don’t have"). "Law-memorial sevice" seems to be a misspelling of "ancestral memorial service." The sentence also lacks clarity and needs restructuring.
    Corrected: However, we don’t have enough time because of the ancestral memorial service.

  4. Original: So my family with my parents and sister do celebrate the solar years day.
    Explanation: "Do celebrate" is unnecessary; simply "celebrate" is correct. "Solar years day" is awkward and should be "Solar New Year."
    Corrected: So, my family, along with my parents and sister, celebrates the Solar New Year.

  5. Original: I wish my parent' s healthy life and my older sister who don't get married, can be married soon.
    Explanation: "Parent' s" is incorrect (no apostrophe needed). "Who don't get married" should be "who isn’t married" for subject-verb agreement and correct tense. The sentence needs restructuring for clarity.
    Corrected: I wish my parents a healthy life, and I hope my older sister, who isn’t married, can get married soon.

  6. Original: Usually older children give some money to parents.
    Explanation: This sentence is grammatically correct but could be slightly refined for fluency.
    Corrected: Usually, older children give money to their parents.

  7. Original: It's like korean manner in holidays.
    Explanation: "Korean" should be capitalized, and "in holidays" is awkward. "During holidays" is more appropriate.
    Corrected: It’s a Korean tradition during the holidays.

  8. Original: I've set a goal to improve my English do exercise constantly, do not nag my son.
    Explanation: The sentence lacks conjunctions, and "do exercise constantly" needs to be rephrased for better flow. "Do not nag" should be "not to nag" to match the sentence structure.
    Corrected: I’ve set a goal to improve my English, exercise regularly, and not nag my son.

  9. Original: I will try to keep resolutions.
    Explanation: This sentence is correct but could be slightly refined.
    Corrected: I will try to keep my resolutions.


Final Edited Version

The New Year has arrived. In Korea, people celebrate the Lunar New Year. However, we don’t have enough time because of the ancestral memorial service. So, my family, along with my parents and sister, celebrates the Solar New Year. I wish my parents a healthy life, and I hope my older sister, who isn’t married, can get married soon. Usually, older children give money to their parents. It’s a Korean tradition during the holidays. I’ve set a goal to improve my English, exercise regularly, and not nag my son. I will try to keep my resolutions.


수강정보
필리핀 전화영어 주 2회 10분 4주
튜터
Anna
교재
New+ Get Up to Speed Situational 2
[시니어] 정규
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
6434
완료
[6번째 영작 첨삭] Day6. Chuseok
Clara Choi
Dashiell
2024.09.20
6433
완료
[26번째 영작 첨삭] A Thanks Giving Day
JiHu
Gresha
2024.09.20
6432
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] Ms Cor.
김지현
Cor
2024.09.20
6431
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] On vacation
김지현
Cor
2024.09.20
6430
완료
[3번째 영작 첨삭] My Favorite Movie Detective Conan
John
Franz
2024.09.20
6429
완료
[21번째 영작 첨삭] Chuseok
유미
Janine
2024.09.20
6428
완료
[40번째 영작 첨삭] Diary
Yoon
Anna
2024.09.20
6427
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] Vietnam
SOYOON
Pia
2024.09.19
6426
완료
[20번째 영작 첨삭] The Geoje Island
Jemin
South
2024.09.19
6425
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] My Favorite Sports Golf 2
John
Franz
2024.09.19
6424
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] Colors
Jeon minseo
Lynrose
2024.09.18
6423
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] My Favorite Sports is Golf
John
Franz
2024.09.18
6422
완료
[10번째 영작 첨삭] Grandmother came to my house
Sharon
Nan
2024.09.17
6421
완료
[39번째 영작 첨삭] Holiday diary 2
Yoon
Anna
2024.09.14
6420
완료
[38번째 영작 첨삭] Holiday diary 1
Yoon
Anna
2024.09.14
6419
완료
[142번째 영작 첨삭] Organ
Rachel
Bel
2024.09.13
6418
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] I’m sorry
함가은
Edleth
2024.09.13
6417
완료
[13번째 영작 첨삭] buno
Lynn
Badette
2024.09.13
6416
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] To teacher
Alex
Melissa
2024.09.13
6415
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] 9/12
SOYOON
Pia
2024.09.12

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침