영작교정
목록
완료

Diary

It comes New year. In korea it celebrates
the Lunnar year's day. But we don't enough time due to law-memorial sevice. So my family with my parents and sister do celebrate the solar years day. I wish my parent' s healthy life and my older sister who don't get married, can be married soon. Usually older children give some money to parents. It's like korean manner in holidays. I've set a goal to improve my English do exercise constantly, do not nag my son. I will try to keep resolutions.

It comes New year. In korea it celebrates
the Lunnar year's day. But we don't enough time due to law-memorial sevice. So my family with my parents and sister do celebrate the solar years day. I wish my parent' s healthy life and my older sister who don't get married, can be married soon. Usually older children give some money to parents. It's like korean manner in holidays. I've set a goal to improve my English do exercise constantly, do not nag my son. I will try to keep resolutions.
===================================================================================================================================

HERE ARE THE CORRECTIONS:

  1. Original: It comes New year.
    Explanation: This is an awkward way to express the arrival of the New Year. "It comes" is not natural in this context.
    Corrected: The New Year has arrived.

  2. Original: In korea it celebrates the Lunnar year's day.
    Explanation: "Korea" should be capitalized as it is a proper noun. "It celebrates" is incorrect since the subject should refer to people, not a country. "Lunnar" is a misspelling of "Lunar."
    Corrected: In Korea, people celebrate the Lunar New Year.

  3. Original: But we don't enough time due to law-memorial sevice.
    Explanation: "Don't" needs an auxiliary verb for proper grammar ("don’t have"). "Law-memorial sevice" seems to be a misspelling of "ancestral memorial service." The sentence also lacks clarity and needs restructuring.
    Corrected: However, we don’t have enough time because of the ancestral memorial service.

  4. Original: So my family with my parents and sister do celebrate the solar years day.
    Explanation: "Do celebrate" is unnecessary; simply "celebrate" is correct. "Solar years day" is awkward and should be "Solar New Year."
    Corrected: So, my family, along with my parents and sister, celebrates the Solar New Year.

  5. Original: I wish my parent' s healthy life and my older sister who don't get married, can be married soon.
    Explanation: "Parent' s" is incorrect (no apostrophe needed). "Who don't get married" should be "who isn’t married" for subject-verb agreement and correct tense. The sentence needs restructuring for clarity.
    Corrected: I wish my parents a healthy life, and I hope my older sister, who isn’t married, can get married soon.

  6. Original: Usually older children give some money to parents.
    Explanation: This sentence is grammatically correct but could be slightly refined for fluency.
    Corrected: Usually, older children give money to their parents.

  7. Original: It's like korean manner in holidays.
    Explanation: "Korean" should be capitalized, and "in holidays" is awkward. "During holidays" is more appropriate.
    Corrected: It’s a Korean tradition during the holidays.

  8. Original: I've set a goal to improve my English do exercise constantly, do not nag my son.
    Explanation: The sentence lacks conjunctions, and "do exercise constantly" needs to be rephrased for better flow. "Do not nag" should be "not to nag" to match the sentence structure.
    Corrected: I’ve set a goal to improve my English, exercise regularly, and not nag my son.

  9. Original: I will try to keep resolutions.
    Explanation: This sentence is correct but could be slightly refined.
    Corrected: I will try to keep my resolutions.


Final Edited Version

The New Year has arrived. In Korea, people celebrate the Lunar New Year. However, we don’t have enough time because of the ancestral memorial service. So, my family, along with my parents and sister, celebrates the Solar New Year. I wish my parents a healthy life, and I hope my older sister, who isn’t married, can get married soon. Usually, older children give money to their parents. It’s a Korean tradition during the holidays. I’ve set a goal to improve my English, exercise regularly, and not nag my son. I will try to keep my resolutions.


수강정보
필리핀 전화영어 주 2회 10분 4주
튜터
Anna
교재
New+ Get Up to Speed Situational 2
[시니어] 정규
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
6934
접수
[3번째 영작 첨삭] Korea Academy's Bad Side
APHA
Vanesa
2025.02.22
6933
접수
[2번째 영작 첨삭] Korea Academy's Second Good Sides
APHA
Vanesa
2025.02.22
6932
접수
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Korea Academy's First Good Sides
APHA
Vanesa
2025.02.22
6931
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] A new teacher ?
Tracy
Claire
2025.02.21
6930
완료
[64번째 영작 첨삭] Diary
Yoon
Anna
2025.02.21
6929
완료
[11번째 영작 첨삭] Piano test
Aaron
Heanna
2025.02.21
6928
완료
[28번째 영작 첨삭] Computer 2
Daniel
Edleth
2025.02.21
6927
완료
[27번째 영작 첨삭] Computers help stuedent
Daniel
Edleth
2025.02.21
6926
완료
[3번째 영작 첨삭] The Korean folk village
Julia
Kathy
2025.02.20
6925
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Dear. Moona
Yeoni
Moona
2025.02.20
6924
완료
[11번째 영작 첨삭] Met the cat
jung won Jo
Sera
2025.02.20
6923
완료
[52번째 영작 첨삭] 2/18
Min
Anna
2025.02.19
6922
완료
[50번째 영작 첨삭] which do you like more? Tteokbokki or Pizza?
JiHu
Gresha
2025.02.19
6921
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] my perrot's mission
michael
Roselle
2025.02.19
6920
완료
[3번째 영작 첨삭] My little brother’s show
Joe
Clarissa
2025.02.19
6919
완료
[4번째 영작 첨삭] Why my phone is not connecting
강주은
Marie
2025.02.19
6918
완료
[10번째 영작 첨삭] Dad is coming
Aaron
Heanna
2025.02.19
6917
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] A great day
Tracy
Vivien
2025.02.18
6916
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] 02
Harry
Peggy
2025.02.18
6915
완료
[10번째 영작 첨삭] bucket list with my friends
jung won Jo
Sera
2025.02.18

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침