영작교정
목록
완료

2

Lastly, most children think it is parent’s jobs to do chores, but it is not true. as I just said, we should do chores when we make a mess because it is a natural duty. And as a part of family member, we should help each other.

Lastly, most children think it is parent’s jobs to do chores, but it is not true. as I just said, we should do chores when we make a mess because it is a natural duty. And as a part of family member, we should help each other.

 

Correction:

I strongly believe that kids should help adults with chores, and here’s why.
First of all, children should start doing chores as they grow more independent. For example, if a boy grows up and buys a new house, he will need to clean it by himself. He can’t call his parents every time.
Secondly, it is our responsibility to do chores when we make a mess. For example, if we make the bedroom dirty, we should clean it by ourselves. Isn’t that true? Lastly, many children think that it is the parents' job to do chores, but that is not true. As I just mentioned, we should do chores when we make a mess because it is our natural responsibility. As part of the family, we should help each other.

 

Changes & Suggestions:
 
"Help adults do chores" → "Help adults with chores" (more natural phrasing).
"When they become independent" → "As they grow more independent" (sounds a bit smoother).
"He will have to clean the house by himself" → "He will need to clean it by himself" (simpler and more natural).
"He can't call his parents anytime" → "He can’t call his parents every time for help" (more specific and clear).
"It is our duty to do chores when we make a mess" → "It is our responsibility to clean up after ourselves when we make a mess" (responsibility sounds more natural here).
"When we use the bedroom dirty" → "If we make the bedroom dirty" (corrected grammar).
"We should help each other" → "As part of the family, we should help each other" (adds context and smoothness).
 
 
You did a great job explaining your points! These changes make your writing sound more natural while keeping your ideas clear. Let me know if you need more help!

수강정보
필리핀 전화영어 주 5회 10분 24주
튜터
Edleth
교재
Debate Pro Junior 2
[주니어] 토론·토의
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
6176
완료
[162번째 영작 첨삭] VACATION
Aiden
Aya
2024.07.23
6175
완료
[29번째 영작 첨삭] Vacation
Yoon
Anna
2024.07.23
6174
완료
[28번째 영작 첨삭] Vacation
Yoon
Anna
2024.07.23
6173
완료
[7번째 영작 첨삭] my favorite food
강정원
Aira
2024.07.23
6172
완료
[6번째 영작 첨삭] my favorite food
강정원
Aira
2024.07.23
6171
완료
[5번째 영작 첨삭] my favorite food
강정원
Aira
2024.07.23
6170
완료
[4번째 영작 첨삭] my favorite food
강정원
Aira
2024.07.23
6169
완료
[3번째 영작 첨삭] my favorite food
강정원
Aira
2024.07.23
6168
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] Subjects I like and subjects I dislike
강정원
Aira
2024.07.23
6167
완료
[24번째 영작 첨삭] 7/19-3
Min
Mary
2024.07.23
6166
완료
[23번째 영작 첨삭] 7/19-2
Min
Mary
2024.07.23
6165
완료
[22번째 영작 첨삭] 7/19-1
Min
Mary
2024.07.23
6164
완료
[4번째 영작 첨삭] An a school
LEN
Queen
2024.07.23
6163
완료
[4번째 영작 첨삭] you have not to order
정미나
K
2024.07.23
6162
완료
[3번째 영작 첨삭] we need to conversation
정미나
K
2024.07.23
6161
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] regret
JINMEILING
Sandra
2024.07.22
6160
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Introduce myself
오민경
Thee
2024.07.22
6159
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] My Summer Vacation.
Jemin
South
2024.07.22
6158
완료
[6번째 영작 첨삭] my favorite massage
유미
Janine
2024.07.22
6157
완료
[142번째 영작 첨삭] Go fishing
Oliver
Frans
2024.07.21

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침