영작교정
목록
완료

2

Lastly, most children think it is parent’s jobs to do chores, but it is not true. as I just said, we should do chores when we make a mess because it is a natural duty. And as a part of family member, we should help each other.

Lastly, most children think it is parent’s jobs to do chores, but it is not true. as I just said, we should do chores when we make a mess because it is a natural duty. And as a part of family member, we should help each other.

 

Correction:

I strongly believe that kids should help adults with chores, and here’s why.
First of all, children should start doing chores as they grow more independent. For example, if a boy grows up and buys a new house, he will need to clean it by himself. He can’t call his parents every time.
Secondly, it is our responsibility to do chores when we make a mess. For example, if we make the bedroom dirty, we should clean it by ourselves. Isn’t that true? Lastly, many children think that it is the parents' job to do chores, but that is not true. As I just mentioned, we should do chores when we make a mess because it is our natural responsibility. As part of the family, we should help each other.

 

Changes & Suggestions:
 
"Help adults do chores" → "Help adults with chores" (more natural phrasing).
"When they become independent" → "As they grow more independent" (sounds a bit smoother).
"He will have to clean the house by himself" → "He will need to clean it by himself" (simpler and more natural).
"He can't call his parents anytime" → "He can’t call his parents every time for help" (more specific and clear).
"It is our duty to do chores when we make a mess" → "It is our responsibility to clean up after ourselves when we make a mess" (responsibility sounds more natural here).
"When we use the bedroom dirty" → "If we make the bedroom dirty" (corrected grammar).
"We should help each other" → "As part of the family, we should help each other" (adds context and smoothness).
 
 
You did a great job explaining your points! These changes make your writing sound more natural while keeping your ideas clear. Let me know if you need more help!

수강정보
필리핀 전화영어 주 5회 10분 24주
튜터
Edleth
교재
Debate Pro Junior 2
[주니어] 토론·토의
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
5136
완료
[155번째 영작 첨삭] 2023.09.17
Aileen
Rose
2023.09.19
5135
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] Just Day
Min Seo Oh
-
2023.09.19
5134
완료
[51번째 영작 첨삭] Party
Rachel
Tessa%
2023.09.18
5133
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] Day 2 of English class
Linda
Lenny
2023.09.18
5132
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] Sunday
Luke
Kristel
2023.09.18
5131
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] palace [ pal-is ]
Jisan Lee
-
2023.09.18
5130
완료
[3번째 영작 첨삭] It's so hot today
Noah Kim
Heil
2023.09.18
5129
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] diary1
김예서
Cha
2023.09.18
5128
완료
[30번째 영작 첨삭] Ellie believe the santa
jung ha youn
Yumi
2023.09.17
5127
완료
[4번째 영작 첨삭] picture Talk home work
Jacob
Camille (주말)
2023.09.17
5126
완료
[154번째 영작 첨삭] 2023.09.16
Aileen
Rose
2023.09.17
5125
완료
[153번째 영작 첨삭] 2023.09.15
Aileen
Rose
2023.09.17
5124
완료
[152번째 영작 첨삭] 2023.09.14
Aileen
Rose
2023.09.17
5123
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Diary
Kate
Rema
2023.09.17
5122
완료
[151번째 영작 첨삭] 2023.09.13
Aileen
Rose
2023.09.17
5121
완료
[15번째 영작 첨삭] My favorite movie character
Ryan
Cindy
2023.09.17
5120
완료
[14번째 영작 첨삭] My favorite subject
Ryan
Cindy
2023.09.16
5119
완료
[18번째 영작 첨삭] Really lots of bugs
Oliver
-
2023.09.16
5118
완료
[37번째 영작 첨삭] Magic Class
Richard
Jana
2023.09.15
5117
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] frist english cless.
Linda
Lenny
2023.09.15

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침