영작교정
목록
완료

Diary

I stared to reduce my work. It's very important to focus on education from 10-11old . My son is 10 years old. He've been studying math and science to the top class. So it is staring harder before. So we have to check more. After I stared to work he was into YouTube and game on cellphone .So I felt need appropriate action to him. After reducing at work I get a peace of mind as well as care for him more. for example give a desert ,control his cellphone,conversation about book or had something.

I stared to reduce my work. It's very important to focus on education from 10-11old . My son is 10 years old. He've been studying math and science to the top class. So it is staring harder before. So we have to check more. After I stared to work he was into YouTube and game on cellphone .So I felt need appropriate action to him. After reducing at work I get a peace of mind as well as care for him more. for example give a desert ,control his cellphone,conversation about book or had something.
==================================================================================================================================

HERE ARE THE CORRECTIONS:

  1. Original: I stared to reduce my work.
    Correction: I started to reduce my work.
    Explanation: "Stared" means to look fixedly, while "started" means to begin something.

  2. Original: It's very important to focus on education from 10-11old.
    Correction: It's very important to focus on education from ages 10 to 11.
    Explanation: Rephrased for clarity and grammatical accuracy. "10-11old" is not standard usage.

  3. Original: My son is 10 years old.
    Correction: My son is 10 years old.
    Explanation: This sentence is correct as is.

  4. Original: He've been studying math and science to the top class.
    Correction: He has been studying math and science in the top class.
    Explanation: "He've" is incorrect; it should be "he has." Also, "to the top class" is rephrased as "in the top class" for better grammar.

  5. Original: So it is staring harder before.
    Correction: So it is starting to get harder than before.
    Explanation: "Staring" was a typo; it should be "starting." Added "to get" for smoother expression and "than" for comparison.

  6. Original: So we have to check more.
    Correction: So we have to monitor more closely.
    Explanation: "Check more" is rephrased for clarity to convey the idea of keeping an eye on progress.

  7. Original: After I stared to work he was into YouTube and game on cellphone.
    Correction: After I started working, he got into YouTube and games on his cellphone.
    Explanation: "Stared" was corrected to "started." Added "working" for grammatical completeness. "Game" was pluralized to "games."

  8. Original: So I felt need appropriate action to him.
    Correction: So I felt the need to take appropriate action for him.
    Explanation: Added "the" before "need" and rephrased "action to him" to "action for him."

  9. Original: After reducing at work I get a peace of mind as well as care for him more.
    Correction: After reducing my workload, I gained peace of mind and could care for him more.
    Explanation: Rephrased for grammatical accuracy and smoother flow. "At work" was replaced with "my workload."

  10. Original: For example give a desert, control his cellphone, conversation about book or had something.
    Correction: For example, I give him dessert, control his cellphone use, have conversations about books, or do activities together.
    Explanation: Corrected "desert" to "dessert" and rephrased for clarity and parallel structure.


Final Corrected Text

I started to reduce my work. It's very important to focus on education from ages 10 to 11. My son is 10 years old. He has been studying math and science in the top class, so it is starting to get harder than before. We have to monitor more closely. After I started working, he got into YouTube and games on his cellphone, so I felt the need to take appropriate action for him. After reducing my workload, I gained peace of mind and could care for him more. For example, I give him dessert, control his cellphone use, have conversations about books, or do activities together.


수강정보
필리핀 전화영어 주 2회 10분 4주
튜터
Anna
교재
New+ Get Up to Speed Situational 2
[시니어] 정규
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
5676
완료
[8번째 영작 첨삭] 24.01.19-2
Min
Mary
2024.01.23
5675
접수
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Teacher I find word
John
-
2024.01.23
5674
완료
[7번째 영작 첨삭] 24.01.19-1
Min
Mary
2024.01.23
5673
완료
[150번째 영작 첨삭] Hansot lunch box store
Aiden
Aya
2024.01.22
5672
완료
[24번째 영작 첨삭] I love my grandparents
Jay
Garlie
2024.01.22
5671
완료
[4번째 영작 첨삭] My grandma
Lynn
Jho
2024.01.22
5670
완료
[25번째 영작 첨삭] I play with my friends
doi
Anabelle
2024.01.22
5669
완료
[19번째 영작 첨삭] Math
Woohyun Kim
Teya
2024.01.22
5668
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] in grandmother house
Sunny
Melissa
2024.01.22
5667
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] Went to grandparent's house
Jaden
Melissa
2024.01.22
5666
완료
[61번째 영작 첨삭] Seoul's spring
Oliver
Hyenna
2024.01.21
5665
완료
[60번째 영작 첨삭] Asian cup soccer game
Oliver
Hyenna
2024.01.21
5664
완료
[18번째 영작 첨삭] Bake squad
Woohyun Kim
Harlene
2024.01.21
5663
완료
[17번째 영작 첨삭] I went to grandma house
Woohyun Kim
Harlene
2024.01.21
5662
완료
[87번째 영작 첨삭] Spam
Rachel
Jenica
2024.01.19
5661
완료
[16번째 영작 첨삭] sashimi
Woohyun Kim
Teya
2024.01.19
5660
접수
[59번째 영작 첨삭] Gwamegi
Oliver
-
2024.01.19
5659
완료
[24번째 영작 첨삭] I'm confused
doi
Anabelle
2024.01.19
5658
완료
[23번째 영작 첨삭] I`m feeling very tired today.
Jay
Garlie
2024.01.19
5657
접수
[58번째 영작 첨삭] Playing with cube
Oliver
-
2024.01.18

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침