영작교정
목록
완료

Diary

I stared to reduce my work. It's very important to focus on education from 10-11old . My son is 10 years old. He've been studying math and science to the top class. So it is staring harder before. So we have to check more. After I stared to work he was into YouTube and game on cellphone .So I felt need appropriate action to him. After reducing at work I get a peace of mind as well as care for him more. for example give a desert ,control his cellphone,conversation about book or had something.

I stared to reduce my work. It's very important to focus on education from 10-11old . My son is 10 years old. He've been studying math and science to the top class. So it is staring harder before. So we have to check more. After I stared to work he was into YouTube and game on cellphone .So I felt need appropriate action to him. After reducing at work I get a peace of mind as well as care for him more. for example give a desert ,control his cellphone,conversation about book or had something.
==================================================================================================================================

HERE ARE THE CORRECTIONS:

  1. Original: I stared to reduce my work.
    Correction: I started to reduce my work.
    Explanation: "Stared" means to look fixedly, while "started" means to begin something.

  2. Original: It's very important to focus on education from 10-11old.
    Correction: It's very important to focus on education from ages 10 to 11.
    Explanation: Rephrased for clarity and grammatical accuracy. "10-11old" is not standard usage.

  3. Original: My son is 10 years old.
    Correction: My son is 10 years old.
    Explanation: This sentence is correct as is.

  4. Original: He've been studying math and science to the top class.
    Correction: He has been studying math and science in the top class.
    Explanation: "He've" is incorrect; it should be "he has." Also, "to the top class" is rephrased as "in the top class" for better grammar.

  5. Original: So it is staring harder before.
    Correction: So it is starting to get harder than before.
    Explanation: "Staring" was a typo; it should be "starting." Added "to get" for smoother expression and "than" for comparison.

  6. Original: So we have to check more.
    Correction: So we have to monitor more closely.
    Explanation: "Check more" is rephrased for clarity to convey the idea of keeping an eye on progress.

  7. Original: After I stared to work he was into YouTube and game on cellphone.
    Correction: After I started working, he got into YouTube and games on his cellphone.
    Explanation: "Stared" was corrected to "started." Added "working" for grammatical completeness. "Game" was pluralized to "games."

  8. Original: So I felt need appropriate action to him.
    Correction: So I felt the need to take appropriate action for him.
    Explanation: Added "the" before "need" and rephrased "action to him" to "action for him."

  9. Original: After reducing at work I get a peace of mind as well as care for him more.
    Correction: After reducing my workload, I gained peace of mind and could care for him more.
    Explanation: Rephrased for grammatical accuracy and smoother flow. "At work" was replaced with "my workload."

  10. Original: For example give a desert, control his cellphone, conversation about book or had something.
    Correction: For example, I give him dessert, control his cellphone use, have conversations about books, or do activities together.
    Explanation: Corrected "desert" to "dessert" and rephrased for clarity and parallel structure.


Final Corrected Text

I started to reduce my work. It's very important to focus on education from ages 10 to 11. My son is 10 years old. He has been studying math and science in the top class, so it is starting to get harder than before. We have to monitor more closely. After I started working, he got into YouTube and games on his cellphone, so I felt the need to take appropriate action for him. After reducing my workload, I gained peace of mind and could care for him more. For example, I give him dessert, control his cellphone use, have conversations about books, or do activities together.


수강정보
필리핀 전화영어 주 2회 10분 4주
튜터
Anna
교재
New+ Get Up to Speed Situational 2
[시니어] 정규
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
5996
완료
[8번째 영작 첨삭] Endangered Animals (3)
Chloe
Gwen
2024.05.05
5995
완료
[7번째 영작 첨삭] Endangered Animals (1)
Chloe
Gwen
2024.05.05
5994
완료
[6번째 영작 첨삭] Endangered Animals (2)
Chloe
Gwen
2024.05.05
5993
완료
[112번째 영작 첨삭] Computer.
Rachel
Jenica
2024.05.01
5992
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] 2024. 04. 23 diary
김종진
Jen
2024.04.30
5991
완료
[6번째 영작 첨삭] my favorite things
원정민
Chinnee
2024.04.30
5990
완료
[5번째 영작 첨삭] today my class
원정민
Chinnee
2024.04.30
5989
완료
[10번째 영작 첨삭] Recorder exam
June
Erika
2024.04.30
5988
완료
[9번째 영작 첨삭] I like kiwis!
June
Erika
2024.04.30
5987
완료
[157번째 영작 첨삭] HAIR PERM
Aiden
Aya
2024.04.29
5986
완료
[8번째 영작 첨삭] Dance Practice
권소연
Chrissie
2024.04.29
5985
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] my school lunchtime
jun
Albie
2024.04.28
5984
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] my school lunchtime
jun
Albie
2024.04.28
5983
완료
[112번째 영작 첨삭] watching soccer game
Oliver
Frans
2024.04.28
5982
완료
[111번째 영작 첨삭] screen golf with my dad
Oliver
Frans
2024.04.28
5981
완료
[110번째 영작 첨삭] Playing video game
Oliver
Frans
2024.04.28
5980
완료
[109번째 영작 첨삭] Amusement park
Oliver
Frans
2024.04.28
5979
완료
[52번째 영작 첨삭] I succeeded.
doi
Anabelle
2024.04.26
5978
완료
[16번째 영작 첨삭] 4/25
Min
Mary
2024.04.26
5977
완료
[4번째 영작 첨삭] Restart to learn english
LEEDAHYE
Dashiell
2024.04.25

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침