영작교정
목록
완료

The Experiment

You can start the experiment when it set materials up. First, we put some baking soda into the test tube. Then we observed it while it was heated for about 10 minutes over the alcohol lamp. We could see moisture of water vapor in container. We also checked carbon dioxide out because it went out flame. When you observed the weight it had change. Before heating the baking soda + tube was 52g. But after heating it's weight 39g. It became 5g lighter than before.

You can start the experiment when it set materials up. First, we put some baking soda into the test tube. Then we observed it while it was heated for about 10 minutes over the alcohol lamp. We could see moisture of water vapor in container. We also checked carbon dioxide out because it went out flame. When you observed the weight it had change. Before heating the baking soda + tube was 52g. But after heating it's weight 39g. It became 5g lighter than before.
==================================================================================================================================

Here are the corrections:

  1. "You can start the experiment when it set materials up."

    • Explanation: The phrase “it set materials up” is confusing. We should say “when the materials are set up” to make it clear.
    • Corrected Sentence: "You can start the experiment when the materials are set up."
  2. "First, we put some baking soda into the test tube."

    • Explanation: This sentence is clear and correct, so no changes are needed.
  3. "Then we observed it while it was heated for about 10 minutes over the alcohol lamp."

    • Explanation: This sentence is mostly correct, but it would sound better with “as it was heated” instead of “while it was heated.”
    • Corrected Sentence: "Then we observed it as it was heated for about 10 minutes over the alcohol lamp."
  4. "We could see moisture of water vapor in container."

    • Explanation: We need "the" before “container” to specify which container, and we should say “moisture or water vapor” to make it clearer.
    • Corrected Sentence: "We could see moisture or water vapor in the container."
  5. "We also checked carbon dioxide out because it went out flame."

    • Explanation: “Checked carbon dioxide out” sounds confusing. Instead, we can say “detected carbon dioxide” to make it clearer. Also, “it went out flame” should be corrected to “it put out the flame.”
    • Corrected Sentence: "We also detected carbon dioxide because it put out the flame."
  6. "When you observed the weight it had change."

    • Explanation: “It had change” should be “it had changed.” We also need a comma after "weight."
    • Corrected Sentence: "When you observed the weight, it had changed."
  7. "Before heating the baking soda + tube was 52g."

    • Explanation: Adding “the” before “baking soda” makes the sentence clearer.
    • Corrected Sentence: "Before heating, the baking soda + tube was 52g."
  8. "But after heating it's weight 39g."

    • Explanation: “It’s” should be “its” because we’re showing possession (its weight). Also, “was” should replace “weight” for clarity.
    • Corrected Sentence: "But after heating, its weight was 39g."
  9. "It became 5g lighter than before."

    • Explanation: This sentence is correct as is. It’s clear and simple.

Revised Text:

You can start the experiment when the materials are set up. First, we put some baking soda into the test tube. Then we observed it as it was heated for about 10 minutes over the alcohol lamp. We could see moisture or water vapor in the container. We also detected carbon dioxide because it put out the flame. When you observed the weight, it had changed. Before heating, the baking soda + tube was 52g. But after heating, its weight was 39g. It became 5g lighter than before.


수강정보
필리핀 전화영어 주 2회 10분 24주
튜터
Anna
교재
Hand in Hand 3
[주니어] 정규
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
5156
완료
[28번째 영작 첨삭] government policy(2)
EUNMI PARK
Maribel
2023.09.20
5155
완료
[27번째 영작 첨삭] government policy(1)
EUNMI PARK
Maribel
2023.09.20
5154
완료
[26번째 영작 첨삭] Grades(4)
EUNMI PARK
Maribel
2023.09.20
5153
완료
[25번째 영작 첨삭] Grades(3)
EUNMI PARK
Maribel
2023.09.20
5152
완료
[24번째 영작 첨삭] grades(2)
EUNMI PARK
Maribel
2023.09.20
5151
완료
[23번째 영작 첨삭] grades(1)
EUNMI PARK
Maribel
2023.09.20
5150
완료
[165번째 영작 첨삭] Diary
Aileen
Rose
2023.09.19
5149
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] musical 2
최정은
-
2023.09.19
5148
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Watching Musical " Mamma Mia"
최정은
Nang
2023.09.19
5147
완료
[164번째 영작 첨삭] The Marble baby - 8
Aileen
Rose
2023.09.19
5146
완료
[163번째 영작 첨삭] The Marble baby - 7
Aileen
Rose
2023.09.19
5145
완료
[162번째 영작 첨삭] The Marble baby - 6
Aileen
Rose
2023.09.19
5144
완료
[161번째 영작 첨삭] The Marble baby - 5
Aileen
Rose
2023.09.19
5143
완료
[160번째 영작 첨삭] The Marble baby - 4
Aileen
Rose
2023.09.19
5142
완료
[159번째 영작 첨삭] The Marble baby - 3
Aileen
Rose
2023.09.19
5141
완료
[158번째 영작 첨삭] The Marble baby - 2
Aileen
Rose
2023.09.19
5140
완료
[157번째 영작 첨삭] The Marble baby - 1
Aileen
Rose
2023.09.19
5139
완료
[38번째 영작 첨삭] Playing at School Lunchtime
Richard
Jana
2023.09.19
5138
완료
[21번째 영작 첨삭] What will you do tomorrow?
yoonkyu
Ney
2023.09.19
5137
완료
[156번째 영작 첨삭] 2023.09.18
Aileen
Rose
2023.09.19

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침