영작교정
목록
완료

10/24

I went to a restaurant for lunch. I was going to ride a bike for the first time in a long time, but as soon as I got on, I felt that my tires were flat. It made a noise and I couldn't pedal well. Somehow I got to the restaurant and had a delicious meal of my favorite rich?soybean?paste?stew. On the way back, I pushed my bike and told my mom that I should ask my dad to put air in the tires later.

I went to a restaurant for lunch. I was going to ride a bike for the first time in a long time, but as soon as I got on, I felt that my tires were flat. It made a noise and I couldn't pedal well. Somehow I got to the restaurant and had a delicious meal of my favorite rich?soybean?paste?stew. On the way back, I pushed my bike and told my mom that I should ask my dad to put air in the tires later.
=================================================================================================================================

Here are the corrections:

  1. "I was going to ride a bike for the first time in a long time"

    • Correction: This sentence is okay, but we can make it simpler: "I was going to ride my bike for the first time in a long time."
    • Explanation: Using "my bike" instead of "a bike" makes it clear that it’s your own bike.
  2. "but as soon as I got on, I felt that my tires were flat."

    • Correction: This sentence is also fine, but it can be simplified a bit: "but when I got on, I felt that my tires were flat."
    • Explanation: "When" is a simpler word to use than "as soon as," making it easier to understand.
  3. "It made a noise and I couldn't pedal well."

    • Correction: Change "It made a noise" to "The bike made a noise."
    • Explanation: Adding "The bike" makes it clearer what made the noise.
  4. "Somehow I got to the restaurant and had a delicious meal of my favorite rich?soybean?paste?stew."

    • Correction: Change "rich?soybean?paste?stew" to "rich soybean paste stew."
    • Explanation: Remove the question marks to make it clear that this is a description of the dish, not a question.
  5. "On the way back, I pushed my bike and told my mom that I should ask my dad to put air in the tires later."

    • Correction: This sentence is mostly okay, but we can simplify: "On the way back, I pushed my bike and told my mom I would ask my dad to put air in the tires later."
    • Explanation: Using "I would ask" instead of "I should ask" sounds more definite and clear.

Revised Text:

I went to a restaurant for lunch. I was going to ride my bike for the first time in a long time, but when I got on, I felt that my tires were flat. The bike made a noise, and I couldn't pedal well. Somehow, I got to the restaurant and had a delicious meal of my favorite rich soybean paste stew. On the way back, I pushed my bike and told my mom I would ask my dad to put air in the tires later.


수강정보
필리핀 전화영어 주 2회 10분 24주
튜터
Anna
교재
Hand in Hand 3
[주니어] 정규
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
5876
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] In weekend.
Hazin Kim
Berry
2024.03.18
5875
완료
[36번째 영작 첨삭] My bad habit
David
Rainbow
2024.03.18
5874
완료
[9번째 영작 첨삭] My mind
Elena
Bowen
2024.03.17
5873
완료
[91번째 영작 첨삭] Watching soccer match
Oliver
Frans
2024.03.17
5872
완료
[90번째 영작 첨삭] Noodle
Oliver
Frans
2024.03.17
5871
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] First class
김민채
Dex
2024.03.16
5870
완료
[89번째 영작 첨삭] Win the chess
Oliver
Frans
2024.03.16
5869
완료
[88번째 영작 첨삭] Forget computer lesson
Oliver
Frans
2024.03.16
5868
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] friends of new class
Liam
Eza
2024.03.15
5867
완료
[101번째 영작 첨삭] Food
Rachel
Jenica
2024.03.15
5866
완료
[41번째 영작 첨삭] How about you
doi
Anabelle
2024.03.15
5865
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] In school
권소연
Chrissie
2024.03.15
5864
완료
[12번째 영작 첨삭] 3/12~13
Min
Mary
2024.03.15
5863
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] I walked.
Hazin Kim
Berry
2024.03.15
5862
완료
[203번째 영작 첨삭] 2024.1.15
Aileen
Nana
2024.03.14
5861
완료
[202번째 영작 첨삭] 2024.1.11
Aileen
Nana
2024.03.14
5860
완료
[201번째 영작 첨삭] 2024.1.8
Aileen
Nana
2024.03.14
5859
완료
[200번째 영작 첨삭] 2024.1.4
Aileen
Nana
2024.03.14
5858
완료
[199번째 영작 첨삭] 2023.12.21
Aileen
Nana
2024.03.14
5857
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Reading books
Olivia
Shela
2024.03.14

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침