영작교정
목록
완료

10/24

I went to a restaurant for lunch. I was going to ride a bike for the first time in a long time, but as soon as I got on, I felt that my tires were flat. It made a noise and I couldn't pedal well. Somehow I got to the restaurant and had a delicious meal of my favorite rich?soybean?paste?stew. On the way back, I pushed my bike and told my mom that I should ask my dad to put air in the tires later.

I went to a restaurant for lunch. I was going to ride a bike for the first time in a long time, but as soon as I got on, I felt that my tires were flat. It made a noise and I couldn't pedal well. Somehow I got to the restaurant and had a delicious meal of my favorite rich?soybean?paste?stew. On the way back, I pushed my bike and told my mom that I should ask my dad to put air in the tires later.
=================================================================================================================================

Here are the corrections:

  1. "I was going to ride a bike for the first time in a long time"

    • Correction: This sentence is okay, but we can make it simpler: "I was going to ride my bike for the first time in a long time."
    • Explanation: Using "my bike" instead of "a bike" makes it clear that it’s your own bike.
  2. "but as soon as I got on, I felt that my tires were flat."

    • Correction: This sentence is also fine, but it can be simplified a bit: "but when I got on, I felt that my tires were flat."
    • Explanation: "When" is a simpler word to use than "as soon as," making it easier to understand.
  3. "It made a noise and I couldn't pedal well."

    • Correction: Change "It made a noise" to "The bike made a noise."
    • Explanation: Adding "The bike" makes it clearer what made the noise.
  4. "Somehow I got to the restaurant and had a delicious meal of my favorite rich?soybean?paste?stew."

    • Correction: Change "rich?soybean?paste?stew" to "rich soybean paste stew."
    • Explanation: Remove the question marks to make it clear that this is a description of the dish, not a question.
  5. "On the way back, I pushed my bike and told my mom that I should ask my dad to put air in the tires later."

    • Correction: This sentence is mostly okay, but we can simplify: "On the way back, I pushed my bike and told my mom I would ask my dad to put air in the tires later."
    • Explanation: Using "I would ask" instead of "I should ask" sounds more definite and clear.

Revised Text:

I went to a restaurant for lunch. I was going to ride my bike for the first time in a long time, but when I got on, I felt that my tires were flat. The bike made a noise, and I couldn't pedal well. Somehow, I got to the restaurant and had a delicious meal of my favorite rich soybean paste stew. On the way back, I pushed my bike and told my mom I would ask my dad to put air in the tires later.


수강정보
필리핀 전화영어 주 2회 10분 24주
튜터
Anna
교재
Hand in Hand 3
[주니어] 정규
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
6756
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] this is my first perm ever....
Bella
Vivien
2025.01.07
6755
완료
[15번째 영작 첨삭] My name
LEE SEOI
Love Joy
2025.01.07
6754
완료
[7번째 영작 첨삭] The reason Isabella doesn't have energy these days
Isabella
K
2025.01.07
6753
완료
[60번째 영작 첨삭] winter vacation
David
Rainbow
2025.01.07
6752
완료
[207번째 영작 첨삭] Fishing
Oliver
Frans
2025.01.07
6751
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] My friend's birthday gift
RUI
Yana
2025.01.07
6750
완료
[5번째 영작 첨삭] friend
김정화
Myryl
2025.01.07
6749
완료
[4번째 영작 첨삭] today
김정화
Myryl
2025.01.07
6748
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] My first day in winter vacation
jung won Jo
Sera
2025.01.07
6747
완료
[163번째 영작 첨삭] Love
Rachel
Bel
2025.01.06
6746
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Bookstore
최서윤
Bel
2025.01.06
6745
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Hello, teacher
Lucia
Heanna
2025.01.05
6744
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] snowsled
kang hee
Charm
2025.01.05
6743
완료
[47번째 영작 첨삭] Unification.
JiHu
Gresha
2025.01.05
6742
완료
[46번째 영작 첨삭] New semester.
JiHu
Gresha
2025.01.05
6741
완료
[45번째 영작 첨삭] I like playing board game.
JiHu
Gresha
2025.01.05
6740
완료
[44번째 영작 첨삭] My new year's plans.
JiHu
Gresha
2025.01.05
6739
완료
[43번째 영작 첨삭] Taekwondo.
JiHu
Gresha
2025.01.05
6738
완료
[42번째 영작 첨삭] My Christmas presents.
JiHu
Gresha
2025.01.05
6737
완료
[54번째 영작 첨삭] diary
Yoon
Anna
2025.01.05

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침