영작교정
목록
완료

10/24

I went to a restaurant for lunch. I was going to ride a bike for the first time in a long time, but as soon as I got on, I felt that my tires were flat. It made a noise and I couldn't pedal well. Somehow I got to the restaurant and had a delicious meal of my favorite rich?soybean?paste?stew. On the way back, I pushed my bike and told my mom that I should ask my dad to put air in the tires later.

I went to a restaurant for lunch. I was going to ride a bike for the first time in a long time, but as soon as I got on, I felt that my tires were flat. It made a noise and I couldn't pedal well. Somehow I got to the restaurant and had a delicious meal of my favorite rich?soybean?paste?stew. On the way back, I pushed my bike and told my mom that I should ask my dad to put air in the tires later.
=================================================================================================================================

Here are the corrections:

  1. "I was going to ride a bike for the first time in a long time"

    • Correction: This sentence is okay, but we can make it simpler: "I was going to ride my bike for the first time in a long time."
    • Explanation: Using "my bike" instead of "a bike" makes it clear that it’s your own bike.
  2. "but as soon as I got on, I felt that my tires were flat."

    • Correction: This sentence is also fine, but it can be simplified a bit: "but when I got on, I felt that my tires were flat."
    • Explanation: "When" is a simpler word to use than "as soon as," making it easier to understand.
  3. "It made a noise and I couldn't pedal well."

    • Correction: Change "It made a noise" to "The bike made a noise."
    • Explanation: Adding "The bike" makes it clearer what made the noise.
  4. "Somehow I got to the restaurant and had a delicious meal of my favorite rich?soybean?paste?stew."

    • Correction: Change "rich?soybean?paste?stew" to "rich soybean paste stew."
    • Explanation: Remove the question marks to make it clear that this is a description of the dish, not a question.
  5. "On the way back, I pushed my bike and told my mom that I should ask my dad to put air in the tires later."

    • Correction: This sentence is mostly okay, but we can simplify: "On the way back, I pushed my bike and told my mom I would ask my dad to put air in the tires later."
    • Explanation: Using "I would ask" instead of "I should ask" sounds more definite and clear.

Revised Text:

I went to a restaurant for lunch. I was going to ride my bike for the first time in a long time, but when I got on, I felt that my tires were flat. The bike made a noise, and I couldn't pedal well. Somehow, I got to the restaurant and had a delicious meal of my favorite rich soybean paste stew. On the way back, I pushed my bike and told my mom I would ask my dad to put air in the tires later.


수강정보
필리핀 전화영어 주 2회 10분 24주
튜터
Anna
교재
Hand in Hand 3
[주니어] 정규
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
2179
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] Weekly Activities
Ariel
-
2021.07.12
2178
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] My pizzle(MJ)
Grace
Lin
2021.07.12
2177
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] About Myself
Grace
Lin
2021.07.12
2176
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] About Myself
조민석
Sheena
2021.07.12
2175
완료
[15번째 영작 첨삭] Think about two characters that you know from a book.
Leo
-
2021.07.11
2174
완료
[114번째 영작 첨삭] My diary
sukyung Kim
Melissa
2021.07.11
2173
완료
[42번째 영작 첨삭] Using computer to study
Lucas
Melissa
2021.07.10
2172
완료
[113번째 영작 첨삭] Review
sukyung Kim
Melissa
2021.07.10
2171
완료
[6번째 영작 첨삭] My pizzle
Jayden
Janine
2021.07.09
2170
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] My Pizza
Ariel
-
2021.07.09
2169
완료
[11번째 영작 첨삭] My pizzle
Tony
Albie
2021.07.09
2168
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] reduce carbon release - essay (part2)
Ajin
Melissa
2021.07.09
2167
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] reduce carbon release - essay
Ajin
Melissa
2021.07.09
2166
완료
[20번째 영작 첨삭] About the movie I saw today
Carol
Charm
2021.07.08
2165
완료
[41번째 영작 첨삭] What was the purpose of nest for Parasaurolophus
Lucas
Melissa
2021.07.08
2164
완료
[33번째 영작 첨삭] School lunches should be free
Logan
-
2021.07.08
2163
완료
[4번째 영작 첨삭] English writing Practice
Ellie
-
2021.07.08
2162
완료
[40번째 영작 첨삭] Greece Tour
Lucas
Melissa
2021.07.07
2161
완료
[29번째 영작 첨삭] School Lunches should be free
Soi
-
2021.07.07
2160
완료
[28번째 영작 첨삭] Allow Bicycles on sidewalks
Soi
-
2021.07.07

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침