영작교정
목록
완료

Diary

We lived in Busan when my son was 5 to 7 ages. We had neighborhood who hang out with. They came to incheon due to attention their family occasions. We talked before we knew that her Cousin's home is next to apartment from my home. We surprised. But they came to here just family 's gathering. So we almost didn't meet each and they didn't have time to meet us. In addition Incheon is so far between each aras when we move. we had close located. even though in a short time we had a good time.

We lived in Busan when my son was 5 to 7 ages. We had neighborhood who hang out with. They came to incheon due to attention their family occasions. We talked before we knew that her Cousin's home is next to apartment from my home. We surprised. But they came to here just family 's gathering. So we almost didn't meet each and they didn't have time to meet us. In addition Incheon is so far between each aras when we move. we had close located. even though in a short time we had a good time.

==================================================================================================================================

HERE ARE THE CORRECTIONS:

  1. "We lived in Busan when my son was 5 to 7 ages."
    Correction: "We lived in Busan when my son was between the ages of 5 and 7."
    Explanation: Use "between the ages of" to express a range of ages. "Ages" needs to be plural here, and the article "the" is necessary for natural phrasing.

  2. "We had neighborhood who hang out with."
    Correction: "We had neighbors to hang out with."
    Explanation: "Neighborhood" refers to an area or community. Since you mean people, the correct word is "neighbors." "To hang out with" fits better than "who hang out with."

  3. "They came to incheon due to attention their family occasions."
    Correction: "They came to Incheon to attend family events."
    Explanation: "Attention" is the wrong word here; "attend" fits the context better. Proper nouns like "Incheon" need capitalization, and "events" is more suitable than "occasions."

  4. "We talked before we knew that her Cousin's home is next to apartment from my home."
    Correction: "We talked and found out that her cousin's home is in the apartment next to mine."
    Explanation: "Before we knew" is unclear, so "talked and found out" clarifies the sequence. "Cousin" does not need capitalization, and "in the apartment next to mine" sounds more natural.

  5. "We surprised."
    Correction: "We were surprised."
    Explanation: Use "were" to form the correct past tense passive construction.

  6. "But they came to here just family 's gathering."
    Correction: "But they only came here for a family gathering."
    Explanation: "Only" fits better in this context, and "a family gathering" is the correct phrase. Avoid unnecessary spaces in possessive forms.

  7. "So we almost didn't meet each and they didn't have time to meet us."
    Correction: "So we almost didn’t meet, and they didn’t have time to meet us."
    Explanation: The conjunctions need proper punctuation. "Each" alone is incorrect—just "us" is sufficient.

  8. "In addition Incheon is so far between each aras when we move."
    Correction: "In addition, Incheon is very spread out, making it difficult to get around."
    Explanation: "Incheon" should be followed by a comma. "Far between" isn't appropriate for locations; "spread out" makes more sense.

  9. "We had close located."
    Correction: "We lived close to each other."
    Explanation: "Close located" is unnatural. "Lived close to each other" fits the context better.

  10. "Even though in a short time we had a good time."
    Correction: "Even though it was brief, we had a good time."
    Explanation: The sentence is more natural with "it was brief" rather than "in a short time."


Final Corrected Text:

We lived in Busan when my son was between the ages of 5 and 7. We had neighbors to hang out with. They came to Incheon to attend family events. We talked and found out that her cousin's home is in the apartment next to mine. We were surprised! But they only came here for a family gathering, so we almost didn’t meet, and they didn’t have time to meet us. In addition, Incheon is very spread out, making it difficult to get around. We lived close to each other back then. Even though it was brief, we had a good time.


수강정보
필리핀 전화영어 주 2회 10분 4주
튜터
Anna
교재
New+ Get Up to Speed Situational 2
[시니어] 정규
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
1176
완료
[12번째 영작 첨삭] Summer
Celina
-
2020.06.30
1175
완료
[11번째 영작 첨삭] Spring
Celina
-
2020.06.30
1174
완료
[12번째 영작 첨삭] Weekend
Sunny
-
2020.06.30
1173
완료
[11번째 영작 첨삭] Summer vacation
Sunny
-
2020.06.30
1172
완료
[3번째 영작 첨삭] 29th, June
Lucy
-
2020.06.30
1171
완료
[19번째 영작 첨삭] my diary
sukyung Kim
-
2020.06.29
1170
완료
[24번째 영작 첨삭] make a Lintracer
Lee gi seop
-
2020.06.29
1169
완료
[18번째 영작 첨삭] Weekend
Ruby
-
2020.06.29
1168
완료
[25번째 영작 첨삭] this friday
Christina
-
2020.06.29
1167
완료
[24번째 영작 첨삭] ummer vaccation
Christina
-
2020.06.29
1166
완료
[17번째 영작 첨삭] Summer vacation
Ruby
-
2020.06.29
1165
완료
[17번째 영작 첨삭] 6/29
MOON SEON JEONG
-
2020.06.29
1164
접수
[18번째 영작 첨삭] Exercise
Yejin Choi
-
2020.06.27
1163
접수
[17번째 영작 첨삭] Alcohol
Yejin Choi
-
2020.06.27
1162
접수
[16번째 영작 첨삭] Bored.
Yejin Choi
-
2020.06.27
1161
완료
[23번째 영작 첨삭] today
Lee gi seop
-
2020.06.26
1160
완료
[22번째 영작 첨삭] stone grandpa
Lee gi seop
-
2020.06.25
1159
완료
[21번째 영작 첨삭] Rain
Lee gi seop
-
2020.06.24
1158
완료
[20번째 영작 첨삭] eat beef brisket doenjang stew
Lee gi seop
-
2020.06.23
1157
접수
[15번째 영작 첨삭] Covid 19.
Yejin Choi
-
2020.06.23

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침