영작교정
목록
완료

Diary

We lived in Busan when my son was 5 to 7 ages. We had neighborhood who hang out with. They came to incheon due to attention their family occasions. We talked before we knew that her Cousin's home is next to apartment from my home. We surprised. But they came to here just family 's gathering. So we almost didn't meet each and they didn't have time to meet us. In addition Incheon is so far between each aras when we move. we had close located. even though in a short time we had a good time.

We lived in Busan when my son was 5 to 7 ages. We had neighborhood who hang out with. They came to incheon due to attention their family occasions. We talked before we knew that her Cousin's home is next to apartment from my home. We surprised. But they came to here just family 's gathering. So we almost didn't meet each and they didn't have time to meet us. In addition Incheon is so far between each aras when we move. we had close located. even though in a short time we had a good time.

==================================================================================================================================

HERE ARE THE CORRECTIONS:

  1. "We lived in Busan when my son was 5 to 7 ages."
    Correction: "We lived in Busan when my son was between the ages of 5 and 7."
    Explanation: Use "between the ages of" to express a range of ages. "Ages" needs to be plural here, and the article "the" is necessary for natural phrasing.

  2. "We had neighborhood who hang out with."
    Correction: "We had neighbors to hang out with."
    Explanation: "Neighborhood" refers to an area or community. Since you mean people, the correct word is "neighbors." "To hang out with" fits better than "who hang out with."

  3. "They came to incheon due to attention their family occasions."
    Correction: "They came to Incheon to attend family events."
    Explanation: "Attention" is the wrong word here; "attend" fits the context better. Proper nouns like "Incheon" need capitalization, and "events" is more suitable than "occasions."

  4. "We talked before we knew that her Cousin's home is next to apartment from my home."
    Correction: "We talked and found out that her cousin's home is in the apartment next to mine."
    Explanation: "Before we knew" is unclear, so "talked and found out" clarifies the sequence. "Cousin" does not need capitalization, and "in the apartment next to mine" sounds more natural.

  5. "We surprised."
    Correction: "We were surprised."
    Explanation: Use "were" to form the correct past tense passive construction.

  6. "But they came to here just family 's gathering."
    Correction: "But they only came here for a family gathering."
    Explanation: "Only" fits better in this context, and "a family gathering" is the correct phrase. Avoid unnecessary spaces in possessive forms.

  7. "So we almost didn't meet each and they didn't have time to meet us."
    Correction: "So we almost didn’t meet, and they didn’t have time to meet us."
    Explanation: The conjunctions need proper punctuation. "Each" alone is incorrect—just "us" is sufficient.

  8. "In addition Incheon is so far between each aras when we move."
    Correction: "In addition, Incheon is very spread out, making it difficult to get around."
    Explanation: "Incheon" should be followed by a comma. "Far between" isn't appropriate for locations; "spread out" makes more sense.

  9. "We had close located."
    Correction: "We lived close to each other."
    Explanation: "Close located" is unnatural. "Lived close to each other" fits the context better.

  10. "Even though in a short time we had a good time."
    Correction: "Even though it was brief, we had a good time."
    Explanation: The sentence is more natural with "it was brief" rather than "in a short time."


Final Corrected Text:

We lived in Busan when my son was between the ages of 5 and 7. We had neighbors to hang out with. They came to Incheon to attend family events. We talked and found out that her cousin's home is in the apartment next to mine. We were surprised! But they only came here for a family gathering, so we almost didn’t meet, and they didn’t have time to meet us. In addition, Incheon is very spread out, making it difficult to get around. We lived close to each other back then. Even though it was brief, we had a good time.


수강정보
필리핀 전화영어 주 2회 10분 4주
튜터
Anna
교재
New+ Get Up to Speed Situational 2
[시니어] 정규
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
3639
완료
[14번째 영작 첨삭] My granfather passed away.
EUNMI PARK
Maribel
2022.11.06
3638
완료
[13번째 영작 첨삭] Every thing about me.
EUNMI PARK
Maribel
2022.11.06
3637
완료
[22번째 영작 첨삭] mara soup
Lim Iwoo
-
2022.11.06
3636
완료
[18번째 영작 첨삭] Made a muffler
Chloe
-
2022.11.06
3635
완료
[14번째 영작 첨삭] Serious Inviorment Pollution
Richard
Jana
2022.11.04
3634
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] chicken
caleb
Trish
2022.11.04
3633
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] about last class
Park Sang Hyun (Stella)
-
2022.11.04
3632
완료
[32번째 영작 첨삭] Friday
Ellie
-
2022.11.04
3631
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] about last class
Park Sang Hyun (Stella)
-
2022.11.04
3630
완료
[13번째 영작 첨삭] 11.3 Thursday
Rose
Therese"☎
2022.11.04
3629
완료
[12번째 영작 첨삭] 11.3 Thursday
Rose Primrose
Therese"☎
2022.11.04
3628
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] It is difficult to learn swim
Claire
Cha
2022.11.03
3627
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] badminton battle
caleb
Trish
2022.11.03
3626
완료
[4번째 영작 첨삭] correction guide from
Joshep park
Charm
2022.11.02
3625
완료
[63번째 영작 첨삭] Warriors in to the wild.
Aiden
-
2022.11.02
3624
완료
[31번째 영작 첨삭] Yesterday
Ellie
-
2022.11.02
3623
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] dairy
kim ha jun
-
2022.11.01
3622
완료
[18번째 영작 첨삭] Halloween
Aiden
-
2022.10.29
3621
완료
[17번째 영작 첨삭] Happy Halloween!
Chloe
Ian"
2022.10.29
3620
완료
[62번째 영작 첨삭] Warriors
Aiden
Ian"
2022.10.28

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침