영작교정
목록
완료

Diary

We lived in Busan when my son was 5 to 7 ages. We had neighborhood who hang out with. They came to incheon due to attention their family occasions. We talked before we knew that her Cousin's home is next to apartment from my home. We surprised. But they came to here just family 's gathering. So we almost didn't meet each and they didn't have time to meet us. In addition Incheon is so far between each aras when we move. we had close located. even though in a short time we had a good time.

We lived in Busan when my son was 5 to 7 ages. We had neighborhood who hang out with. They came to incheon due to attention their family occasions. We talked before we knew that her Cousin's home is next to apartment from my home. We surprised. But they came to here just family 's gathering. So we almost didn't meet each and they didn't have time to meet us. In addition Incheon is so far between each aras when we move. we had close located. even though in a short time we had a good time.

==================================================================================================================================

HERE ARE THE CORRECTIONS:

  1. "We lived in Busan when my son was 5 to 7 ages."
    Correction: "We lived in Busan when my son was between the ages of 5 and 7."
    Explanation: Use "between the ages of" to express a range of ages. "Ages" needs to be plural here, and the article "the" is necessary for natural phrasing.

  2. "We had neighborhood who hang out with."
    Correction: "We had neighbors to hang out with."
    Explanation: "Neighborhood" refers to an area or community. Since you mean people, the correct word is "neighbors." "To hang out with" fits better than "who hang out with."

  3. "They came to incheon due to attention their family occasions."
    Correction: "They came to Incheon to attend family events."
    Explanation: "Attention" is the wrong word here; "attend" fits the context better. Proper nouns like "Incheon" need capitalization, and "events" is more suitable than "occasions."

  4. "We talked before we knew that her Cousin's home is next to apartment from my home."
    Correction: "We talked and found out that her cousin's home is in the apartment next to mine."
    Explanation: "Before we knew" is unclear, so "talked and found out" clarifies the sequence. "Cousin" does not need capitalization, and "in the apartment next to mine" sounds more natural.

  5. "We surprised."
    Correction: "We were surprised."
    Explanation: Use "were" to form the correct past tense passive construction.

  6. "But they came to here just family 's gathering."
    Correction: "But they only came here for a family gathering."
    Explanation: "Only" fits better in this context, and "a family gathering" is the correct phrase. Avoid unnecessary spaces in possessive forms.

  7. "So we almost didn't meet each and they didn't have time to meet us."
    Correction: "So we almost didn’t meet, and they didn’t have time to meet us."
    Explanation: The conjunctions need proper punctuation. "Each" alone is incorrect—just "us" is sufficient.

  8. "In addition Incheon is so far between each aras when we move."
    Correction: "In addition, Incheon is very spread out, making it difficult to get around."
    Explanation: "Incheon" should be followed by a comma. "Far between" isn't appropriate for locations; "spread out" makes more sense.

  9. "We had close located."
    Correction: "We lived close to each other."
    Explanation: "Close located" is unnatural. "Lived close to each other" fits the context better.

  10. "Even though in a short time we had a good time."
    Correction: "Even though it was brief, we had a good time."
    Explanation: The sentence is more natural with "it was brief" rather than "in a short time."


Final Corrected Text:

We lived in Busan when my son was between the ages of 5 and 7. We had neighbors to hang out with. They came to Incheon to attend family events. We talked and found out that her cousin's home is in the apartment next to mine. We were surprised! But they only came here for a family gathering, so we almost didn’t meet, and they didn’t have time to meet us. In addition, Incheon is very spread out, making it difficult to get around. We lived close to each other back then. Even though it was brief, we had a good time.


수강정보
필리핀 전화영어 주 2회 10분 4주
튜터
Anna
교재
New+ Get Up to Speed Situational 2
[시니어] 정규
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
4879
완료
[15번째 영작 첨삭] In this summer
Yun
Melissa
2023.07.21
4878
완료
[20번째 영작 첨삭] In your backpack.
yoonkyu
-
2023.07.21
4877
완료
[19번째 영작 첨삭] If there is no exam...
yoonkyu
-
2023.07.21
4876
완료
[18번째 영작 첨삭] Old my job
Yoon
Anna
2023.07.21
4875
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] i wrote this sentence
Lee Jin Gyeong
-
2023.07.21
4874
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] my favorite toy
Noah Kim
Heil
2023.07.20
4873
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] Water park
Park Lime
-
2023.07.20
4872
완료
[125번째 영작 첨삭] Summer vacation
-
Gail
2023.07.20
4871
완료
[41번째 영작 첨삭] Stay at home
joshua
-
2023.07.20
4870
완료
[40번째 영작 첨삭] I ate French fries
aiden
-
2023.07.20
4869
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Learning is keep going.
Susan
Cha
2023.07.20
4868
완료
[33번째 영작 첨삭] Making cookies
Rachel
-
2023.07.19
4867
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] It's so hot
Noah Kim
Heil
2023.07.19
4866
완료
[39번째 영작 첨삭] Today
joshua
-
2023.07.19
4865
완료
[38번째 영작 첨삭] I ate noodles
aiden
-
2023.07.19
4864
완료
[7번째 영작 첨삭] Diary
sopia
Jeany
2023.07.18
4863
완료
[147번째 영작 첨삭] Cicada
Aileen
-
2023.07.18
4862
완료
[146번째 영작 첨삭] Diary
Aileen
-
2023.07.18
4861
완료
[145번째 영작 첨삭] Minicar
Aileen
-
2023.07.18
4860
완료
[144번째 영작 첨삭] Poketmon card
Aileen
-
2023.07.18

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침