We had my dad's birthday party. I made an apple cranberry tart at the baking studio and I would give it to him. It was difficult from preparing the apples to making the dough, but it was delicious under the guidance of my tutor. My mom prepared seaweed soup and japchae at home. My dad was very surprised and happy when he saw our gift.
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FINAL CORRECTED TEXT:
We had a birthday party for my dad. I made an apple cranberry tart at the baking studio to give to him. It was difficult, from preparing the apples to making the dough, but it turned out delicious with the guidance of my tutor. My mom prepared seaweed soup and japchae at home. My dad was very surprised and happy when he saw the gift.
Here are the CORRECTIONS:
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Original: We had my dad's birthday party.
Correction: We had a birthday party for my dad.
Explanation: The phrase "We had my dad's birthday party" is not incorrect, but "We had a birthday party for my dad" sounds more natural and clear. -
Original: I made an apple cranberry tart at the baking studio and I would give it to him.
Correction: I made an apple cranberry tart at the baking studio to give to him.
Explanation: "I would give it to him" suggests a future intention, which can be simplified to "to give to him" to indicate the purpose of making the tart. -
Original: It was difficult from preparing the apples to making the dough, but it was delicious under the guidance of my tutor.
Correction: It was difficult, from preparing the apples to making the dough, but it turned out delicious with the guidance of my tutor.
Explanation: "From preparing the apples to making the dough" should be set off by commas for clarity. "It was delicious under the guidance" is better expressed as "it turned out delicious with the guidance." -
Original: My mom prepared seaweed soup and japchae at home.
Correction: My mom prepared seaweed soup and japchae at home.
Explanation: This sentence is correct. -
Original: My dad was very surprised and happy when he saw our gift.
Correction: My dad was very surprised and happy when he saw the gift.
Explanation: "Our gift" can be simplified to "the gift" for clarity, as the context of who gave the gift is already known.
