영작교정
목록
완료

9/3

My dad's birthday is coming up soon, so I visited Gangnam to make perfume. We arrived a little early and stopped at a nearby Wappen House. I could customize that I choose wappens and a card wallet. It was painful when I smelled a scent I didn't like. The most fun part was making the color I liked after choosing the scent.

My dad's birthday is coming up soon, so I visited Gangnam to make perfume. We arrived a little early and stopped at a nearby Wappen House. I could customize that I choose wappens and a card wallet. It was painful when I smelled a scent I didn't like. The most fun part was making the color I liked after choosing the scent.

==============================================================================================================================
 

CORRECTED VERSION:

My dad's birthday is coming up soon, so I visited Gangnam to make perfume. We arrived a little early and stopped at a nearby Wappen House. I was able to customize items such as choosing wappens and a card wallet. It was unpleasant when I smelled a scent I didn't like. The most enjoyable part was creating a color I liked after choosing the scent.

Here are the CORRECTIONS:

Original: My dad's birthday is coming up soon, so I visited Gangnam to make perfume.
Correction: My dad's birthday is coming up soon, so I visited Gangnam to make perfume.
Explanation: This sentence is correct.

Original: We arrived a little early and stopped at a nearby Wappen House.
Correction: We arrived a little early and stopped at a nearby Wappen House.
Explanation: This sentence is also correct.

Original: I could customize that I choose wappens and a card wallet.
Correction: I was able to customize items such as choosing wappens and a card wallet.
Explanation:  "I could customize that I choose" should be revised to "I was able to customize items such as choosing." 

Original: It was painful when I smelled a scent I didn't like.
Correction: It was unpleasant when I smelled a scent I didn't like.
Explanation: The word "painful" is not appropriate for describing an unpleasant smell. "Unpleasant" is a better choice.

Original: The most fun part was making the color I liked after choosing the scent.
Correction: The most enjoyable part was creating a color I liked after choosing the scent.
Explanation: "Fun" can be replaced with "enjoyable" for a more formal tone, and "making" is better expressed as "creating" in this context.


수강정보
필리핀 전화영어 주 2회 10분 24주
튜터
Anna
교재
Hand in Hand 3
[주니어] 정규
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
5236
완료
[3번째 영작 첨삭] What I Want to Say
Flora
CJ
2023.10.09
5235
완료
[32번째 영작 첨삭] Ellie was safe
jung ha youn
Yumi
2023.10.08
5234
완료
[4번째 영작 첨삭] climbing
김예서
Anna
2023.10.08
5233
완료
[24번째 영작 첨삭] win
Oliver
-
2023.10.08
5232
완료
[7번째 영작 첨삭] Saturday
Luke
-
2023.10.08
5231
완료
[7번째 영작 첨삭] Day
Min Seo Oh
Rayne
2023.10.08
5230
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] i want to be a cabin crew
SOYANGPARK
Kimmy
2023.10.07
5229
완료
[40번째 영작 첨삭] Octover
Aiden
Albie
2023.10.07
5228
완료
[23번째 영작 첨삭] Asian game
Oliver
-
2023.10.07
5227
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Sentences about the jungle
나은수
Jho
2023.10.07
5226
완료
[56번째 영작 첨삭] South America
Rachel
Jenica
2023.10.06
5225
완료
[44번째 영작 첨삭] Smoking Prevention Class
Richard
Jana
2023.10.06
5224
완료
[4번째 영작 첨삭] Oct.6 Diary
Jian
Kimmy
2023.10.06
5223
완료
[2번째 영작 첨삭] 2
Flora
CJ
2023.10.06
5222
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] How wonderful day was!
Flora
CJ
2023.10.05
5221
완료
[43번째 영작 첨삭] Growing- Reading Class
Richard
Jana
2023.10.05
5220
완료
[131번째 영작 첨삭] Chuseok
-
Izzy
2023.10.05
5219
완료
[130번째 영작 첨삭] Chuseok
-
Nang
2023.10.05
5218
완료
[129번째 영작 첨삭] Chuseok
-
Nang
2023.10.05
5217
완료
[3번째 영작 첨삭] holiday
김예서
Anna
2023.10.05

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침