영작교정
목록
완료

I really appreciate your help, Charm

Could you correct this effectively? If it is possible, please change it to make it easier to talk. T0T
And could you give me some phrases about introduction and ending part that we talked about today ?
I will be able to memorize them. ^^ Thank you so much for your help!!

I often feel like many different thoughts and feelings are shaking in me and I reflect on them, and it feels like I’m lost in my thoughts. The thoughts are about me, especially my future direction, and my family and friends. So I tried to describe shaking thoughts as swimming fish in a colorful way to highlight diversity and dynamics and that' why the word in the title is called the lake. I also think the constantly chaning thoughts and feelings were as transparent as the scales of the fish so I expressed the transparent feelings in watercolor painting. I drew myself with a tried, weary expression and expressed my thoughtful, quiet appearance in a static tone through drawing in black and white oriental tone. As I am in my mind, I descibed myself as sitting in an abstract space using the features of watercolor painting rather than any particular background. But by placing dynamic graphic form with dry brush to the background, I enhance the feeling of shaking.

Could you correct this effectively? If it is possible, please change it to make it easier for me to say it. T0T.
And, could you give me some phrases about the introduction and ending part that we talked about today? 
I will be able to memorize them. ^^ Thank you so much for your help!! 

I often feel like that my emotions are shaking inside of me and I tried to reflect on them. It feels like that I am always lost in my own thoughts. They are all about me, especially my future, my family and my friends. I tried to describe them like the fish swimming in a colorful way to highlight dynamic diversity, that’s why I called it “the lake”. I also think that the constant changing of my thoughts and emotions are as transparent as the scales of the fish so I expressed these feelings in a watercolor painting. I drew myself with a tired weary expression. It also showed my thoughtful quiet appearance through drawing in black and white using static and oriental tone. As I picture in my mind, I described myself as the person who is sitting in an abstract space using the features of the watercolor paint rather than any particular background. By placing the dynamic graphics with the use of the dry brush to the background, it enhanced my shaken emotions.

**hello Juhui, I put everything what you were trying to say in here, let me know if there are things you wanted to add. There are also some parts I don't understand so I will be asking you about them tomorrow. See you!


수강정보
필리핀 화상영어 주 5회 30분 8주
교재
side by side 2 (Junior course)
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
6416
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] To teacher
Alex
Melissa
2024.09.13
6415
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] 9/12
SOYOON
Pia
2024.09.12
6414
완료
[10번째 영작 첨삭] I'm waiting
kim bo min
Sydelle
2024.09.12
6413
완료
[9번째 영작 첨삭] Home
Sunghyun
Joel
2024.09.12
6412
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] My diary
Jenny
Norriel
2024.09.12
6411
완료
[8번째 영작 첨삭] Woo 2
Sunghyun
Joel
2024.09.12
6410
완료
[7번째 영작 첨삭] Woo
Sunghyun
Joel
2024.09.12
6409
완료
[141번째 영작 첨삭] Labor
Rachel
Bel
2024.09.11
6408
완료
[5번째 영작 첨삭] Day5. My dad
Clara Choi
Dashiell
2024.09.11
6407
완료
[35번째 영작 첨삭] 9/5
Min
Anna
2024.09.11
6406
완료
[34번째 영작 첨삭] 9/3
Min
Anna
2024.09.11
6405
완료
[33번째 영작 첨삭] 8/25, 9/1
Min
Anna
2024.09.11
6404
완료
[4번째 영작 첨삭] Day4. Weather
Clara Choi
Dashiell
2024.09.11
6403
완료
[19번째 영작 첨삭] Today
Jemin
South
2024.09.10
6402
완료
[12번째 영작 첨삭] i'm lucky!
Lynn
Badette
2024.09.10
6401
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Orange
Jeon minseo
Lynrose
2024.09.10
6400
완료
[5번째 영작 첨삭] Bicycles on sidewalks
Daniel
Edleth
2024.09.10
6399
완료
[20번째 영작 첨삭] Good partner
유미
Janine
2024.09.10
6398
완료
[37번째 영작 첨삭] Diary
Yoon
Anna
2024.09.10
6397
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Introducing myself
Jacey Lee
Heanna
2024.09.10

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침