영작교정
목록
완료

Making cat and fossil

It's art class again. This time I draw a cat and cut the cat and make it more. I was very happy. But it was made of paper, so it can brake easyily. So I carefully grab it and go home. I had science class, too. It was making dinosaur bone. It is easy to make a fossil. I put the clay in to the cast and I wait. And wait and wait. Finally the fossil is finish. The fossil's type is ammonite and a seabug. It was look like three leaf. It was nice. I want to make more dinosaur fossil.

It's art class again. This time I draw a cat and cut the cat and make it more. I was very happy. But it was made of paper, so it can brake easyily. So I carefully grab it and go home. I had science class, too. It was making dinosaur bone. It is easy to make a fossil. I put the clay in to the cast and I wait. And wait and wait. Finally the fossil is finish. The fossil's type is ammonite and a seabug. It was look like three leaf. It was nice. I want to make more dinosaur fossil.

It's art class again! This time, I drew a cat. I cut out the drawing to make several copies. I was really happy with it! But since it was made of paper, it could break easily. So, I carefully picked it up and took it home.

I also had science class today. We learned about making dinosaur bones, or rather, fossils! It turns out making a fossil is quite easy. I put some clay in the mold and waited patiently. Finally, the fossil was finished!

My fossil turned out to be an ammonite and a sea bug. It looked a bit like a three-leaf clover, which was pretty cool. I definitely want to make more dinosaur fossils!

Here's what I changed:

 

  • "Draw a cat and cut the cat and make it more": Changed to "drew a cat" and "cut out the drawing to make several copies" for clarity.
  • "Brake easyily": Changed to "break easily" for correct spelling.
  • "Grab": Changed to "picked up" for a more appropriate term in this context.
  • "Making dinosaur bone": Changed to "making dinosaur bones, or rather, fossils" for accuracy. Fossils are the remains of ancient life, not the bones themselves.
  • "It is easy to make a fossil": Changed to "It turns out making a fossil is quite easy" for smoother flow.
  • "Put in to the cast": Changed to "put some clay in the mold" for better clarity. Casts are usually for making replicas, while molds are used for shaping clay.
  • "The fossil's type is ammonite and a sea bug. It was look like three leaf": Changed to "My fossil turned out to be an ammonite and a sea bug. It looked a bit like a three-leaf clover" for better sentence structure and spelling.

 

 


수강정보
필리핀 화상영어 주 2회 25분 12주
튜터
Erika
교재
Bread Barbershop (브레드 이발소)
[주니어] 애니메이션
번호
제목
작성자
튜터
작성일
6416
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] To teacher
Alex
Melissa
2024.09.13
6415
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] 9/12
SOYOON
Pia
2024.09.12
6414
완료
[10번째 영작 첨삭] I'm waiting
kim bo min
Sydelle
2024.09.12
6413
완료
[9번째 영작 첨삭] Home
Sunghyun
Joel
2024.09.12
6412
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] My diary
Jenny
Norriel
2024.09.12
6411
완료
[8번째 영작 첨삭] Woo 2
Sunghyun
Joel
2024.09.12
6410
완료
[7번째 영작 첨삭] Woo
Sunghyun
Joel
2024.09.12
6409
완료
[141번째 영작 첨삭] Labor
Rachel
Bel
2024.09.11
6408
완료
[5번째 영작 첨삭] Day5. My dad
Clara Choi
Dashiell
2024.09.11
6407
완료
[35번째 영작 첨삭] 9/5
Min
Anna
2024.09.11
6406
완료
[34번째 영작 첨삭] 9/3
Min
Anna
2024.09.11
6405
완료
[33번째 영작 첨삭] 8/25, 9/1
Min
Anna
2024.09.11
6404
완료
[4번째 영작 첨삭] Day4. Weather
Clara Choi
Dashiell
2024.09.11
6403
완료
[19번째 영작 첨삭] Today
Jemin
South
2024.09.10
6402
완료
[12번째 영작 첨삭] i'm lucky!
Lynn
Badette
2024.09.10
6401
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Orange
Jeon minseo
Lynrose
2024.09.10
6400
완료
[5번째 영작 첨삭] Bicycles on sidewalks
Daniel
Edleth
2024.09.10
6399
완료
[20번째 영작 첨삭] Good partner
유미
Janine
2024.09.10
6398
완료
[37번째 영작 첨삭] Diary
Yoon
Anna
2024.09.10
6397
완료
[1번째 영작 첨삭] Introducing myself
Jacey Lee
Heanna
2024.09.10

초대한 친구가 수업을 등록하면
무료 수업 1회를 드려요!

무료 수업 1회
초대한 친구가 회원 가입 및 수강권 결제 후 수업을 등록하면
두 사람 모두 무료 수업 1회 수강권을 받아요!
Step 01. 조이영어로 친구를 초대해 보세요!
https://joy05.co.kr
Step 02. 인증하기
초대한 친구가 수업 등록을 완료하면, 고객센터로 수업을 등록한 친구의 '아이디' 또는 '이름 + 휴대폰 번호 뒷자리'를 남겨주세요!
*자녀 혹은 학부모 이름으로 가입하신 경우, 실제 회원가입하신 수강생 이름으로 적어주세요!
Ex. 친구 아이디: joy5205 / 친구 이름: 김조이, 9876
Step 03. 혜택받기
고객센터를 통해 인증하신 내용이 확인되면, 혜택을 적용해드립니다!

Zoom 화상수업 가이드

1. Zoom 설치하기
아래 링크에 접속하여 Zoom 프로그램을 설치합니다.
2. 수강실 입장하기
1) 조이영어 홈페이지 로그인 후 강의실에서 [수강실 입장] 버튼을 클릭해주세요.
2) 버튼을 누르고 Zoom 프로그램 열기 허용 → 컴퓨터 오디오로 참가를 누르면 튜터와 연결됩니다.
3. Zoom 이용에 다른 문의사항이 있으신가요?
조이영어 학습매니저에게 연락주시면 수업에 관련된 문의사항을 친절히 상담해드리겠습니다.
  • 카카오톡 상담 채널 : @조이영어
  • 조이영어 고객센터 : 1899-8695 (운영시간 : 월~금 9:00~17:30)

이용약관

개인정보취급방침